Written In The Stars
by Tinkerbell90
Summary: Set after 5x02: After a weird dream, Merlin follows his instincts and finds a wounded Morgana in the woods. Against all odds he decides to help her. A forbidden romance blossoms and the course of destiny might change forever, while a dangerous Mordred still lurks in the shadows, waiting for his time to rise.
1. The Good In Her Heart

_****_**AN: **** Hello people! This is my first Merlin fanfiction and I am excited about it! I love this show and like most people I'm sad its over soon, even if I have my problems, especially with that season. The lack of magic reveal for example...and of course Mergana. I probably will never forgive the writer's for the wasted potential for a Mergana romance. It was all there. The amazing chemistry between Colin and Katie and the whole destiny stuff that screamed for a tragic, beautiful romance against all odds...yeah...sadly we'll neve rget that.  
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**So I decided to make my own little Mergana thing. It will be about four or five parts long and I hope you'll enjoy it. Of course, Arthur, Gwen, Gaius, the knights and others will show up as well and I'll keep soem Arwen and bromance scenes.  
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**Please note that English is not my mother tongue an I'll make mistakes.  
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**I'll hope you enjoy the first part and leave me some comments :)**

* * *

_**Written in the Stars**_

_**Part 1: The Good In Her Heart**_

_He was surrounded by darkness; he could barely see his own hand. He breathed heavily, where was he? He looked around. Trees, trees everywhere. Could it be? Was he in the forest? How did he get there? He walked through the thicket. He didn't know where he was heading to, but an inner voice told him it was the right path._

"_Someone there?" He asked, confident enough that his magic could protect him from harm._

_No one answered. He walked deeper and deeper into the forest. Suddenly there was a noise. A tiny rustle. He stood still, stared in the direction where the noise came from. _

"_Where ever you are, come out!" He demanded in a strong voice. _

_There was a noise again, but this time it sounded more like a cry. A feebly, painful cry that almost broke his heart. And then he saw her. Aithusa. The white dragon that somehow sided with _her_. She looked even worse than the last time he saw her. He still couldn't figure out what happened to her during the last three years._

"_Aithusa…" he whispered softly and walked towards the young dragon. She didn't flinch when he reached out to touch her. "What is it?" He asked concerned, knowing he wouldn't get an answer, the dragon couldn't speak._

_Aithusa was shaking. She was afraid. Merlin wished he could help her. Before he could speak again the dragon turned around and hobbled away. Merlin followed her quietly._

_They reached a cave. Aithusa walked inside, Merlin hesitated a moment. That couldn't be a trap, could it? He shook his head. He was a dragonlord after all, there was no way a dragon could betray him now._

"_Aithusa…" he said and walked inside. _

_The dragon lay beside someone. Beside a woman, she tried to keep her warm. Merlin forgot to breathe for a moment. It was _her_. "Morgana…" he said in a shock._

_But the witch didn't answer. As far as he could tell she was barely alive. He kneed down beside her. There was blood, a lot of blood actually. "That was Mordred…" said thoughtful. "Mordred stepped you…."_

_Aithusa cried out again. Merlin looked between her and Morgana. "What do you want me to do?" He asked the dragon. No answer, obviously just another cry._

_Morgana coughed. She wouldn't last much longer, he knew it. If she died it would finally be over. No. He banned that thought. She wasn't the main problem any longer. Mordred was. _

_Aithusa carefully nudged Merlin's arm. "You want me to help her…" He looked into the dragon's big sad eyes. "I'm sorry, I can't…"_

_His eyes fell back on Morgana. She briefly opened her's much to his surprise. "Merlin?" she asked weakly._

Merlin's eyes flung wide open. He sat up and looked around, his breath was heavy. He was in his room. Home in Camelot, in Gaius' chambers. He touched his forehead, he was covered in sweat. "Just a dream…" murmured.

He looked outside the window. The moon shone bright over Camelot. It was still in the middle of the night. He fell back on his bed and closed his eyes. Images from Aithusa and Morgana flashed before his eyes.

_And if it wasn't? _He thought and sat up again. If he learned one thing in his many years in Camelot than it was that things never just happened. There was always a deeper meaning, especially when he was involved.

So he did what his instinct was telling him. He got up, grabbed his clothes and made is way outside.

He sneaked out of Camelot. Really what where the knights doing all night? He wondered when it had become so easy to leave the town without anyone noticing.

* * *

He made his way to the way to the woods, letting his magic guide him or his connection with dragon or whatever strange force that reached him. He chuckled. "I must be completely insane." He whispered to himself.

Merlin wasn't sure how long he was walking. Minutes? And hour? Several hours? He lost his sense of time, but since it was still night, it couldn't have been that long.

Suddenly there it was. The cave from his dream. "Great Merlin, why do such things always happen to you?" He slowly walked inside. Afraid what he would find. If Morgana was indeed in there, insured from Mordred's sudden betrayal, what was he supposed to do?

As he walked further inside he already knew he dream was coming true. He felt her. Felt her magic. But more important he could sense Aithusa.

Something started to flicker right before his eyes. A small fire. And then he saw them. Morgana, with a step wound in her stomach, unconscious but alive. He wondered how she even ended up in that forest. Next to her lay Aithusa, protecting her.

"Aithusa…" he said calmly. The young dragon looked up. She was so fragile, so damaged. He would barely lay his eyes on her. "Aithusa." He said again.

The dragon got up, as fast as her broken bones allowed her to. She walked in front of Morgana, a certain fire in her eyes. Merlin knew she would protect her friend with her life. "Aithusa, let me –" Before he could say anything more the dragon attacked him. A weak flame escaped her mouth, but Merlin was quick enough to jump aside. Aithusa hissed angrily at him.

Merlin sighed. "Here we go again…" He reached his hand out and walked towards her, trying to calm her. "Ithi!" He hissed. Aithusa was suddenly shaking. She locked eyes with Merlin and after a short moment she bowed her head.

Merlin smiled. "It is alright, Aithusa. Just let me take a look at her."

She stepped aside, allowing Merlin to kneel down next to Morgana. She breathed irregular. He softly touched her forehead. "Fever…" Me murmured. Then he carefully took a closer look at her step wound. It was even deeper than he expected.

"What am I supposed to do?"

Aithusa lay down beside him, resting her head on his lap and looking a Morgana, sadness in her eyes. "I know what you want…" But could he do it? He couldn't right? She was a constant danger to Arthur and Camelot, a threat to their destiny, she was responsible for thousands of deaths. There was no reason to help her.

His eyes fell on her face. That beautiful pale face, the soft skin, the lips…he shook his head. For a brief moment he saw her. Morgana, the real one. The young woman that enchanted him from their first meeting all those years ago. But he knew she wasn't that woman anymore. She was cold and bitter, lost by any means.

_And you're to blame for it. _His inner voice spoke to him.

Aithusa moaned. She softly licked Morgan's cheek.

Merlin was conflicted. If he would just let her die Camelot would be save from her at least. There was still Mordred to worry, but she wouldn't be a problem anymore. But could he do it?

He grabbed her hand, stroking it. She was cold as ice, there was almost no life in her anymore.

"I should let you die, you know that?" He said. "I should have let die years ago…" He almost laughed at the irony that once more her life depended on him. "You would kill me in a blink of an eye…" _She wouldn't, she had the chance more than once but she never used it. _

His hand wandered to her cheek. He caressed it gently and for a moment he was in another time where the world was still in place, Morgana was still Uther's ward, smiling at him genuinely and he was back to wondering what could have been.

"I really am insane." He said and laid his hand on her wound. "Þurhhæle dolgbenn" he said. His were glowing in gold for a brief second and then Morgana's wound began to heal.

He looked at Aithusa, who watched him with a childlike curiosity. "I won't heal her completely, she cannot suspect my magic." He explained to the dragon, hoping she would understand.

Morgana's breathing slowed down. The fever almost vanished completely and the bleeding stopped.

Merlin stood up, his job was done, even if he had no idea why he did it. "I need to get back to Camelot." He said more to himself than to Aithusa, but the dragon wouldn't let him leave. She grabbed his tunic. "Aithusa….I can't stay here."

She wouldn't let him go. He stoked her head. She was so weak and yet she was trying to save Morgana. "Alright…I'll be back later on." He promised, not having any clue how he was going to manage that.

* * *

Merlin was polishing Arthur's armor, but his thoughts were still in that cave, still with her.

"Are you even listening, Merlin?" Arthur suddenly said.

Merlin juts nodded absentmindedly. Arthur had enough. Merlin was somewhat ignoring him all day and if there was something the king of Camelot hated that it was being ignored, especially by his best friend. He clenched his fists. "Merrrliiin…." He hissed warningly, but no reaction.

He shrugged and hit him hardly on the back of his head. "Ouch!" Merlin shouted and rubbed his head. "What was that for, you clotpole?"

Arthur laughed. Finally he got a reaction. "What did you expect me to do? Ignoring your king all day has consequences." He smiled triumphantly.

Merlin rolled his eyes. "Excuse me that I have more on my mind than just your royal brattish butt." He snapped.

Arthur tried to hide a laugh. He was slightly worried about Merlin all day, but if he was back ton insulting him everything seemed right in the world. "Normally I would throw something at you for that comment, but not today. I need your help."

Merlin nodded. He had no time helping Arthur, he needed a way to figure out what to do at Morgana. He knew that if he wanted to do the right thing he should just tell Arthur about her whereabouts and let him handle the situation, but somehow he couldn't. _And yet another secret I'm keeping from him._

"You blacked out on me again, right?" Arthur suddenly asked.

"I'm sorry sire." Merlin said. "Now I'm all ears." He forced a smile.

"Well good. I suppose." Arthur eyed him suspiciously. Something was off with his friend today. "I was saying that it is Guinevere's birthday soon and I need some advice on what to get her."

Merlin took a deep breath. _My problems are definitely bigger. _"Didn't she tell you anything?"

Arthur scratched his cheek. "She might…" He looked away, slightly ashamed.

"She told you, but you were too busy being a prat to listen, right?" Merlin asked slightly amused.

Arthur blushed. "I was being….well you know…Shut up, Merlin!"

"Just give her a dress or jewelry…she's a woman, women like that." He really wasn't in the mood to help Arthur with his marriage problems. There was so much more on his mind. How did he get that dream of Morgana in the first place. He wasn't a seer like her. Was it his connection with Aithusa or something else? Why did he heal her, what has gotten into him? And most of all, how could he keep his promise to Aithusa?"

"You stopped listening again." Arthur complained. "Alright Merlin." He took the armor from his friend's hand. "Tell me what's wrong."

Merlin laughed nervously. He certainly couldn't tell Arthur the reason why he was distressed. But he didn't want to lie more than necessary either. "Wrong? What should be wrong? Nothing is wrong, you just bore me to death."

"Nice try." Arthur said. He knew Merlin, he immediately senses when something is wrong with him. "I am your friend and I want to know what's bothering you."

The oblivious prat Arthur was most of the time, sometimes he was indeed right. Merlin knew once Arthur wanted to know something he wouldn't leave him alone until he got his wish.

"It is Mor….Mo…." He just couldn't tell him. "It is my mother, sire." He blurted out._ And the lying begins again._

"Your mother?" Arthur asked.

Merlin nodded a bit unsure. _Great Merlin, how do you get out of this? _Suddenly an idea came to his mind, it was risky and he hated it, but it would give him some time. "I got a message from Ealdor last night….she…she is sick and….it is serious." He really hoped fate would be kind to him and not punish his dear mother for his lies one day.

"She is sick, Merlin that is awful!" Arthur exclaimed. Knowing what a kind and gentle soul Hunith is he feared for her well being like she was his own mother. Probably because she was the only motherly figure he had ever known. "Then what are you still doing here?" He asked his friend.

Merlin looked up, his plan worked and he felt incredibly bad about it. "What…what do you mean, sire?" He played dump.

"Idiot. I mean you should go home and be with her." Arthur looked worried, Merlin never wanted to worry him but he had no other choice. He needed to take care of the Morgana situation.

"It could take several days, maybe weeks, sire." He needed all the time he could get, he was sure about it.

Arthur smiled sympathetically. "She is your mother, Merlin. She is the only family you have left." Pain flinched through his veins, he missed his father and the mother he never knew. "Your work will not run away, go home and make sure Hunith gets better." He patted Merlin's shoulder.

"Thank you so much, Arthur." He said and smiled at his friend.

* * *

Merlin was packing a few things, he needed to leave as soon as possible or he would change his mind. Gaius was out visiting a patient, so he needed to wait until he was back. He was conflicted to tell at least him the truth, but he figured it was not a good idea. When it came to Morgana, Gaius had his own views, much like Kilgharrah.

"I heard you heading back home." A smooth voice said from behind him. He turned around, his face hardened.

"Hello Mordred." He said reserved. The boy smiled. That ambiguous smile Merlin couldn't read. "You heard right." In his mind he was cursing himself. How could he consider leaving Arthur with Mordred in the castle?

"I'm sorry to hear about your mother, _my friend_." The way he said the word 'friend' let Merlin's blood run cold. "Thank you, I hope she will get better soon." They danced around each other. Mordred knowing Merlin distrusted him and Merlin knowing Mordred meant nothing more than trouble.

"Don't worry, I'll keep an eye on Arthur." He said and left.

Merlin felt his magic seething inside of him. He needed to calm down. His eyes flashed golden for a moment. _Self control Merlin. _He reminded himself.

He saw what Mordred would do in the future and he needed to prevent it by all costs, but he was sure that future wouldn't come true tomorrow or the day after tomorrow or next month. He had some time. _Time for what exactly? _He didn't know but he was eager to find it out.

* * *

"Merlin, are you sure I shouldn't come with you?" Gaius asked concerned. He cared a lot about Hunith and he felt bad letting Merlin go all on his own.

"Nah, it's alright. You showed me enough and if it is that bad I can still use magic to heal her." He assured Gaius, hoping his mentor would just let him go.

"If you say so, my boy." Merlin was sure that Gaius was at least suspicious, he couldn't recall Merlin getting any messages. But he trusted him and if Merlin needed to leave, he would have a reason.

"Gaius…keep an eye on Mordred for me, will you?" Merlin asked, looking at the castle knowing Mordred was lurking somewhere in the shadows planning God knows what.

Gaius nodded and wished him good luck.

* * *

It was almost nightfall when Merlin reached Morgana's cave again. He still wasn't sure what has gotten into him, but if he would heal her, he would do it the right way.

Aithusa wasn't so hostile as the night before, she actually seemed happy to see Merlin and stepped aside all by herself so he could take a look at Morgana.

She was still unconscious, but the fever was completely gone and the wound, or rather what was left of it wasn't dangerous anymore.

He reached into his bag, Gaius had given him a bunch of medicine to cure his 'mother' and he was thankful to have all this stuff. If he would heal her with magic, she would find out and that was something he could never risk.

He carefully ripped some of her dress apart to clean the wound, not exposing too much skin. He gulped. Even know, far away from the right part, his enemy, she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. As he touched her, he remembered old feelings, old desires, but he quickly shook them off. She was his enemy, no matter what kindness he would show her now.

Her eyelids started to flicker. "Aithusa?" She said weakly as she opened her eyes. "The young dragon made a squeaking sound, to reveal that she was alright.

Morgana's vision was still blurry. She didn't know what exactly was going on. The last thing she remembered was crawling through the woods, Aithusa by her side. She needed to find a safe place after Mordred betrayed her. Then it went black.

She groaned, hoped to see clearly. Someone was definitely with her, someone was touching her, doing something with her wound.

"You shouldn't move." A familiar voice told her.

She blinked with her eyes a few times. Her vision got clearer. Then she realized who was with her. She looked straightly into his eyes. Those deep piercing blue eyes that haunted her dreams for years now. Eyes she trusted, eyes that betrayed her. Eyes she wanted dead, eyes she wanted to drown into. Eyes she hated, eyes a piece of her heart always loved.

"Merlin…" She gasped and tried to sit up. He firmly grabbed her shoulders and put her down again. She was surprised by his strength and wondered if he always had been that strong.

"Told you not to move." He sounded indifferent.

"What do you want…" She was afraid. She was too weak to defend herself, too weak to even use magic. If Merlin was with her than Arthur wouldn't be far away. And that meant she was as good as dead. She briefly looked at Aithusa. They would kill her as well. But one thing bothered her. Why wasn't Merlin freaked out by the sight of a living dragon. She hadn't time to think about it. Maybe he didn't know how weak she was, maybe she could still threaten him.

"If you want to stay alive, you leave now and better tell no one about me!" she hissed, trying to sound strong.

Merlin just chuckled. She was shocked. That weak serving boy dared to laugh at her? Her a high priestess of the Old Religion?

"You are too weak to threaten me, Morgana." He said calmly. "And if I were you, I would rest. I can help you, but I can't do magic." Okay it was funny to him saying that, but he couldn't stop himself.

If he was being honest with himself he certainly enjoyed her confusion.

"I don't want your help!" she snapped, her voice venomous. How dared he? Was he making fun of her until Arthur and his knights were coming?

Merlin still wasn't impressed. He was busy taking care of her open wound. "You maybe not, but I'm sure she wants it." He pointed at Aithusa without even looking at her.

Morgana was baffled. He really wasn't afraid of Aithusa. And how in hell did he know she was a girl? She stayed quiet, watching Merlin doing his work. He was good at it. She looked at Aithusa. She was completely calm and relaxed around Merlin. There has always something strange about him. He always seemed like he knew more than most people, but she always ignored it.

"When will Arthur come to execute me?" She almost laughed bitterly.

Merlin looked at her. Determined blue eyes met lost green ones. "He doesn't know." He answered quickly.

That surprised Morgana. She knew Merlin hated her, so why would he keep it a secret from his beloved Arthur when he found her. "You're lying." She knew he wasn't, but what else was there to say?

"If you say so." Was all he answered before he started to bandage her wound.

She was almost amazed by his coolness. Normally people were terrified when she even looked at them. After all she was Morgana Pendragon, a feared witch through all the kingdoms.

"That should do it for now." Merlin said when he finished. He stuffed the medicine away and sat down next to her. "But we have to change the bandage twice a day or it will get infected. You still need medicine and a lot of rest. But you'll be fine."

She didn't look at him. "Why?"

He knew she deserved an answer, but he couldn't give her one. He wasn't sure himself why he was doing this. Only a day ago he wished for her death, hated her, but seeing her injured and fragile like this reminded him somehow of the old Morgana, the Morgana he cared about and somehow that triggered something inside of him.

So he said nothing. He stared into the flames and shrugged.

* * *

When Morgana woke up the next morning, her head was aching. She carefully sat up. _Was it all a dream or was Merlin really here? _She didn't know when she had fallen asleep again, everything was blurry again.

She searched for Aithusa who was still soundlessly asleep next to her. But there was no Merlin. _I guess it was fever dream. Why would Merlin of all people help me?_

It was then when she realized she was wrapped in a warm blanket. She couldn't remember bringing one. She looked under it. Her dress was dirty and a part of it was ripped. But there wasn't any skin, just a white bandage. _So it was real?_

She was confused. She carefully touched her hurting head. _Maybe I have a concussion?_

"The headache comes from the medicine, a little side effect but it will pass." Merlin suddenly appeared in front of her. He looked tense, but not afraid.

"I brought some water. And berries. I have some bread in my back as well." He handed her food and water which she only took because she was really starving.

"You need to get your strength back." He said, chewing absentmindedly at a piece of bread himself.

Aithusa looked curiously at him. He knew that dragons were normally hunting animals, but maybe Aithusa never learned. So he broke the bread into two halves and gave one to her.

She made a happy sound and started eating. Merlin chuckled. He was only used to Kilgharrah and his neverending speeches about destiny, the innocent little dragon however was amusing to watch. Sometimes he wished he could see the world with such innocent eyes again. Like when he first arrived in Camelot all those years ago, but he knew he lost his innocence a long time ago, so did Morgana.

Morgana watched Merlin with Aithusa. She couldn't believe the way he treated her, like she wasn't even a dragon, but a normal animal or even human.

"What happened to her?" Merlin asked, gazing at her throat and crippled wings.

"Sarrum of Amata and his men held us captivated for almost two years…." She shuddered at the memory. "She grew up in a tiny pit…she couldn't grow up the right way….they tortured us…" Morgana didn't even know why she was telling him that, as if he would care. He only ever cared for his precious Arthur and Camelot.

Now Merlin understood why Aithusa was so attached to Morgana. For two years the only had each other. He knew he shouldn't feel sorry for Morgana, that it was against every logic, but he did.

"I'm sorry." He almost whispered.

She laughed hysterically, tears started to run down her cheeks. Enough was enough.

"What is this Merlin? A few days ago we were fighting and now I should believe you are just here to help me? What twisted game are you playing?"

He didn't know what to say. It was weird to him as well. He shouldn't be there, he shouldn't help, he should kill her as long as she wasn't able to defend herself, but still something was holding him back

Maybe it was the fact that he just wasn't ruthless enough. _Stop kidding yourself, you killed Aggravaine and you wouldn't even blink to kill Mordred._

That couldn't be the reason, he was far from that innocent boy who could never hurt anyone and even felt bad about killing Nimueh. No, he would do anything now to protect those dear to him.

But what was it? He did not understand his own feelings anymore, but something deep inside him told him that helping her was the right thing to do.

"I wish I could give you an answer but I can't. Really, I'm as surprised as you are. I should want you dead, but somehow I don't. This is not a game, Morgana." He stood up. "Maybe having seen you hurt like that reminded me of the real you." He walked out of the cave. "I'm getting some fire wood."

She bit her lower lip. "You had no problem to poison me why I was still…." Bust she stopped. Tears were running down her cheeks. After years of pushing all those feelings of hurt away she finally broke down. Maybe Mordred's betrayal was the tip of the iceberg.

Merlin still heard what she said and it made him incredibly sad. He knew that it was his fault that she was this way, that she hated Camelot and trusted no one. It was his betrayal that turned her evil.

* * *

Arthur was sitting on his bad, ready to go to sleep, but he couldn't get his mind off Merlin.

Gwen sat down behind him, she tenderly started to massage his neck. "You worry about him, don't you?" she whispered into his ear.

He leaned back, relaxed in her loving arms. "I don't like seeing him like this…so worried. I just hope he is alright and that Hunith will be okay." He knew Gwen loved Merlin's mother as well, she even lived with her for some time.

"It will all be okay, he is Merlin. He always finds a way." She said smiling.

Arthur turned around. What would he do without her? His loving, precious Guinevere? He softly captured her lips for a chaste kiss. "I love you, my Queen."

She giggled and pulled him closer. "And I love you, my King."

* * *

_Morgana shivered. She was surrounded by darkness. "Hello?" She asked scared. "Morgause? Sister, where are you? Why did you bring me here?"_

_No one answered her._

_She tried to see something, but this place was darker than the night could ever be. She felt alone, lonely and incredibly sad. Why did this happen to her? Why did her sister bring her into such an awful place? Tears were falling down her cheek. Was there no one she could trust? She closed her eyes and saw him, Merlin, his goofy smile and his beautiful eyes. _

"_You betrayed me…" she whispered. "How could you do this to me?" She was broken. There was nothing left inside of her, just sadness. _

_Suddenly she felt something on her cheek. "What is that?" she touched it and looked up. Something was falling down on her. Something wet. "What's going on?" she shouted in panic._

"_No….no…NO!"_

"Morgana, Morgana wake up!" Merlin said desperately.

She screamed and yelled and kicked in her sleep. He was afraid she might open her wounds again. "Morgana, please!"! he shook her.

Her eyes flung open. He looked terrified, tears were falling down her cheeks. "It's dark…so dark….so cold…." She stammered.

Merlin cupped her face into his hands and tried to focus her. "Shh. Calm down….its okay." He softly caressed her cheeks, not even realizing his gentle gesture.

"Merlin…" she whispered and before he even knew what was going on she pressed her fragile body into his arms and cried.

He was just sitting there, not sure how to react. She was his enemy. She tried to kill Arthur. Tried to kill Gwen. She wanted to take over Camelot. She kidnapped Gwaine and Percival. But now, now she was here, in his arms, crying.

He gently wrapped his arms around her, pressing her even closer to his body. He cradled her like a little child, whispering sweet things into her ear.

It wasn't supposed to be his way, he was sure about it. That was against everything he believed in, against his destiny, but he couldn't see her suffering.

When she finally calmed down, he carefully pulled her away, to look into her eyes. They were red and swollen and it was an image he would probably never forget.

This wasn't Morgana, the sorcerers, this was just Morgana.

"When I came back you were asleep. And then you started screaming…." He said, not able to look away from her. Even in a moment like that she still was astonishing beautiful.

He briefly gazed at her lips, but no he just couldn't afford to think like that. So he started to caress her cheeks again. He softly put a strand behind her ear.

Morgana didn't know how she ended up in this situation. She never showed anybody her weaknesses, she never cried in front of people, but here she was with Merlin of all people and let him see through her disguise.

She should push him away. He was her enemy. He tried to kill her. He was Arthur's friend, but she couldn't. In a way she didn't understand she needed him. Instead of despising his touch, she welcomed it. His rough hands on her skin and those beautiful, deep eyes. She could get lost into them.

She leaned forward and pressed her forehead against his. They both were still, unable to move.

Merlin was confused. What was happening, this couldn't be good, couldn't be right and yet it didn't feel wrong.

"I had this dream…." She finally said. "I have it sometimes….I'm trapped into this dark place with no light….I think it is a tower….I'm all alone, afraid, cold….sometimes I see people….Arthur….Uther….Gwen….you." She pulled away, meeting his eyes. "You all stare at me….laugh at me and tell me what a failure I am….that I deserve to die."

Merlin didn't say a word. He just kept listening. His hands automatically grabbed for hers. She didn't mind it.

"Then there is this…this goo….I think it is black and it is dripping on me….entering my ears….my nose and my mouth….it makes me dizzy. Then I see Morgause….she talks to me…tells me that I can only trust her…that she is my only family, the only one who loves me. I know I shouldn't listen to her. Sometimes I yell at her, tell her that its not true, that I have Arthur and Gwen that they love me…I'll tell her about you….but she….she doesn't shut up." Morgana starts to sob again. "And eventually I give in. Then I wake up."

He studied her face. She looked so innocent in that moment. There was nothing left of the mad woman that killed so many people, including her own father.

"Morgana….maybe it wasn't just a nightmare." An idea came to his mind. A dark tale Arthur once told him when they were sitting by the fire side. If that was true, then maybe Morgana wasn't lost. He hadn't thought about saving her in years, he gave up on this a long time ago, but now he saw the light again, maybe there was hope.

She shook her head. "It wasn't a vision. Visions feel differently." She explained, thankful for his obvious try to help her.

"I wasn't talking about a vision…but about a memory." He said.

* * *

Arthur was sitting at the dinner table, it was one of those endless boring parties at the castle and even as the king he didn't know what the cause of it was.

Guinevere to his left was engaged in a heated conversation with another Princess, Arthur forgot her name.

He was bored. He looked at his substitute servant, George. "Hey George." He whispered. The boy immediately ran to him, almost falling over his own feet. "Yes, my lord?"

"You wanna sneak out for a while to annoy the good Geoffrey?" He asked and pointed at the old man who watched him argus-eyed. During the last party Arthur and Merlin disappeared suddenly for some midnight hunting, which of course was not acceptable from a king.

"My lord, I am afraid that is against my duty." He said and smiled shyly before he made his way back to the other servants.

Arthur sighed. It was unbearable without Merlin.

"I miss him too, brother." He turned to his right, were Gwaine sat, smiling at him. "It is lonely without our boy, right?"

Arthur nodded. If someone understood his friendship with Merlin than it was Gwaine. Of course Arthur liked all of his knights, they were his friends, but the bond between him, Merlin and Gwaine was always something special.

"Don't tell him I actually missed him." Arthur said and Gwaine laughed.

"Hey Gwaine…you wanna sneak out?" He asked.

"Sorry, mate. There a few ladies in here that need a special treatment from a royal knight." He smirked.

Arthur sighed again. _Stupid Merlin, to leave me here bored all by myself._

* * *

Merlin made them a simple soup for dinner, but Morgana wasn't really hungry. She couldn't stop thinking about what Merlin said. If her nightmares were really a memory, hidden at some dark place in her mind, than she needed to know what she was obviously trying to forget.

She looked at Merlin who ate in silence. Aithusa was spending the night outside under the stars, so it was just them. Thinking about their intimate position earlier made her blush. But this was Merlin, he shouldn't have that kind of effect on her.

She mustered him. Whenever she thought of Merlin, she saw that goofy smile, the silliness and boyish charm. Things she cherished once upon a time. But now, now he was different. She saw him a few time during the last years, mostly in battles, but she never dared to look at him, really look at him. He had changed.

He no longer seemed goofy or awkward or silly. His features hardened, the softness and innocence was gone. The boy she once knew was gone, but the man in front of her was handsome and seemed so much stronger and confidant and her sudden realization of this alarmed her.

Merlin couldn't really concentrate on eating. The only thing on his mind was Morgana. Their former friendship, the unspoken feelings, his betrayal, her betrayal, how he healed her against all odds, her strange nightmare and his hands on her soft skin. There wasn't a clear thought on his mind.

He looked at her, only to discover that she was staring at him.

When Morgana noticed Merlin's eyes on her, she quickly looked away. She hoped he didn't see her blushing. It would be embarrassing. He was juts Merlin. He was Arthur's servant boy. Nothing more.

She unintentionally bit her nails. He was just Merlin. Kind, gentle and good looking Merlin who saved her life and held her in his arms. She looked back at him, his eyes still on her. She still couldn't understand why he helped her. There was something about this man she would never understand.

"I always blamed myself." He said suddenly.

She was confused. "For what?"

"For what happened to you." He smiled sadly. When he found her he never expected they would go down that route, talking about that fateful day, but somehow he felt like he owed her.

Morgana felt a sudden burning in her throat. She knew what he was talking about, but she didn't know if she was ready for it.

"Morgause enchanted you that day…and it was either you or Camelot….I had to make a decision." He knew he couldn't justify his actions, so why did he even try?

"And you decided that…my life didn't matter that much." She said sadly. All those old feelings, her hurt after his betrayal were coming back.

"Believe me if I could change one thing in my life I would go back to that day and…" What would he do? Back then there was no other way, but if he could change it maybe he would find one.

"Why? Why would you change it? To feel better about yourself or because you think I would have never left and your precious Arthur would be safer?" She asked bitterly. There was still so much hate in her, so many feelings, it felt like a thunderstorm was building up inside of her.

Merlin didn't need to think about the answer. He had this discussion with himself for several years now and there was only one reason why he would change it. "I would change it, because you didn't deserve such a betrayal. Because I killed you that day…may not physical, but emotional." He looked away from her, too ashamed for her reaction.

Morgana's heart was beating so strong, she felt like it would jump out of her chest. So this wasn't about Arthur or Camelot? That was really just about her? About them?

"We cannot change the past, Merlin." She said surprisingly softly.

He turned back to her. She seemed so exhausted. "We both did things we're not proud of." She admitted. There it was out. She admitted that she didn't exactly like the person she had become. When Mordred stepped her, she knew he was right in a way. She was insane, out of control and needed to be stopped. Her revenge was killing her.

She lay down on the blanket and closed her eyes. "But just so you know…your betrayal may hurt me more than anything I have ever experienced…."

He flinched. _Anything? Even more than discovering the truth about Uther or losing Morgause?_

"But you are not to blame for my actions. I made the decision to meet Morgause before you poisoned me…I made all the decisions afterwards…this is on me, not you."

* * *

The next two weeks they fell into a sort of routine. Merlin did his best to nurse her wounds and keep her healthy and Morgana recovered, slowly but she did.

To Merlin's surprise she never once lashed out, threatened to kill him or tried to run away. She was actually being nice. It reminded him of the old Morgana more than he liked and he actually enjoyed being in her company more than he should.

Morgana felt strange towards him. There was still the pain and hate inside her, but it felt like it was more fading away each day. There were no thoughts of killing Merlin or Arthur or taking Camelot. Each time she looked at Merlin, she felt something she hadn't felt in years, she felt good, safe and oddly home.

They didn't talk about that fateful day anymore, none of them knew how. It was a bad and painful memory for both of them.

Morgana kept having her strange nightmares, but everytime she got scared, she had Merlin by her side, assuring her she was safe.

Merlin still felt like something was wrong with her dreams, but away from Camelot and Gaius and his books, there was no way he could investigate it any further. He thought about Camelot and Arthur a lot, knowing that he couldn't stay with her forever, that he needed to go back soon, but he wasn't ready to leave her yet and that feeling scared him.

One morning when Morgana woke up, Merlin wasn't there, neither was Aithusa. She was feeling better, stronger and so she decided to finally get up and leave the cave for the first time in weeks.

The sun was shining brightly, it was a lovely summer day. She enjoyed the fresh air and a cool breeze on her face. How much she missed it.

"It is really easy Aithusa." She heard Merlin's voice and decided to follow it. He was standing in a clearing, Aithusa in front of him and for the first time she realized how much better the dragon looked. More healthy and happy.

"You just say _Merlin. _It is a _Mer _and a _lin _an easy name." He sounded frustrated. Aithusa just looked irritated.

Morgana chuckled. "Are you trying to teach her how to speak, _Mer _and _lin_?" She teased him.

He turned around, surprised to see her outside. She looked beautiful, standing there in the sunlight. _What are you doing Merlin? This is still Morgana….you can't think of her like that._

"Yeah….but it doesn't work. I don't know if she can't or just doesn't know how…" He looked at the damaged throat of the dragon and it pained him. Such a beautiful creature, so hurt.

Morgana gently stroked Aithusa's head. "Maybe one day she will speak, isn't that right Aithusa?"

Merlin couldn't believe how gentle she was when it came to the dragon. A few weeks ago he never thought Morgana was even capable of love anymore, but how wrong he was.

She sat down in the grass. "God I missed this. Grass and sunshine and wind…" she closed her eyes, enjoying her surroundings.

Merlin sat down next to her. "It is a beautiful day."

She opened her eyes. "Feloge." She whispered and a few flowers started to dance around them. She laughed, a really heartfelt laugh. It was that kind of laugh Merlin missed all those years.

"I can feel the nature around us….I can sense it…it is a great feeling." She said and Merlin wished he could tell her he felt it too.

"How come you never freak out when I use magic? How come you are not scared?" she asked interested.

Merlin grabbed one of the flying flowers and looked at it. "Because I don't think magic is evil. It is with all forms of power, it depends on how you use it."

She smiled, surprised by his answer but incredibly happy by it. He never judged her for what she was, not back then and not now.

"Besides" he said smirking, "I don't think a flower will hurt anyone." He leaned closer to her, making her blush. Then he softly put the flower behind her ear.

She looked away and if Merlin wouldn't know it any better he would almost say shyly.

_That is not possible, why would she be shy? She is Morgana and I am…me._

* * *

They lay in the cave, side by side but not touching each other. "Tell me a story." Morgana said.

He raised an eyebrow. "What story?" He asked.

She shrugged. "Don't know, just a story."

"Okay…when I first arrived in Camelot and became Arthur's servant…there was this big ball, I guess it was a ball and girl walked into the room. She wore that red dress and looked absolutely stunning. I couldn't keep my eyes off of her. Gaius warned me that she was the king's warned and that I would probably be send into the dungeon if someone would catch me looking at her like that…but I couldn't stop." He smiled at this memory that seemed life times ago.

Morgana giggled. She remembered seeing him for the first time. He was so clumsy and naïve, but he had a good heart and she always liked him for that.

"The funny thing is that she and I became pretty good friends and when she was having a bad time I brought her flowers….then her clotpole of a brother took me aside and was like 'No stay away from her, this is not good, this is bad…by the way I am a prat and you are a servant she is the king's ward…'" he tried to impersonate Arthur which made Morgana laugh out loud. It was a strange feeling to her to think about her brother without feeling the actual urge to kill him. In moments like this she actually wished she could go back, that everything could be like it once was again.

"He did not really say that…" she giggled.

Merlin nodded. "He did…trying to be serious and all. Because I was a servant and a servant cannot have a crush on the king's ward. Guess what….he married a serving girl…"

Morgana snuggled closer to him. She carefully rested her head on his chest, which was surprisingly muscular, after all Arthur's sword fight training and the many chores were good for something.

He enjoyed having her so close to him. He wrapped his arm around her, burying his head into her long raven hair. He knew that whatever they were doing was against every rule, betrayed everything they both believed in and could only end in chaos and tears, but yet he couldn't stop.

"Have you ever been in love?" she asked.

He was surprised by her question. He expected everything, not that. "Well there was a girl I really liked…" he said, a sad undertone in his voice.

"What happened?" she wondered who that girl was.

Merlin didn't answer for a while. "She was killed." He then said. Thinking of Freya still hurt him, thinking about how he failed to save her.

Morgana leaned over him, searching for his eyes. A few locks were tickling his face. "I'm sorry."

He softly pulled her hair aside. "And there was…this girl I…really don't know what I felt about her. She was beautiful and strong and so kind…but we never had the chance to find out what could have been." It was the first time he openly confessed in a way what he once felt for Morgana. Not even Gaius knew that he always felt more than just friendship for her. But it wasn't meant to be, destiny had other plans.

His one hand rested on her cheek, his other softly stroke along her back.

"Why did you never tell her?" She never ever expected that he really once had feelings for her and for some reason it made her happy and sad at the same time.

"I messed it up before I had the chance." He said. His eyes were filled with regret, she could see that.

"What about you?" He needed to know.

One of her fingers painted small circles on his chest. "I had a lot of suitors….but none of them seemed right to me….when I was about….14 I had this weird crush on Sir Leon…" she laughed. "But there has only been one guy that really made me feel special…but it was inappropriate ." she took a deep breath. "And I messed it up before it even began."

She waited for a reaction, but he said nothing. He was too perplexed to speak. Not in a million years had he ever thought that a gorgeous creature like would ever return his feelings.

They stared at each other, lost into each other's eyes. Captured in a mixture of shyness and a long forgotten desire that was just about to resurface.

Merlin didn't know what he was doing, his thump softly slid over her lips, making her shiver. He remembered the feeling he had back then whenever he saw her, he asked himself what it would feel like to hold her in his arms or how much he would give for just one simple kiss. But the feelings he had now were different. He didn't long for a hug or a sweet, innocent kiss. No, he wanted to taste her mouth, wanted to touch her, wanted to feel her soft skin on his. And it scared him. It scared him deeply. They were enemies. She was the darkness to his light, the hatred to his love. He shouldn't feel about her that way, he shouldn't desire her.

Morgana wanted nothing more than to scream out loud. They were so close, but still so far away from each other. When the world was still okay, she had a crush on him, a huge crush. He was a sweetest boy she had ever met, so kind and gentle and he always saw more in her than just the Lady Morgana, He saw her, the real her and it was the best feeling someone ever gave her. But now that boy was a grown man and the crush from another time started to turn into something more serious, something dangerous. She had a mission to fulfill, she hadn't time for this, she couldn't afford feelings like this, but they were there and she knew deep in her heart she couldn't shake them off.

She leaned closer, their faces were only inches apart. She closed her eyes, when suddenly Merlin lay her gently aside. "I check on Aithusa." He said and left the cave, leaving a confused Morgana behind.

* * *

Merlin walked up and down, while an innocent Aithusa was watching him, not understanding what was going on with him.

"What the hell am I doing?" He yelled at himself. "You are an idiot Merlin. Such an idiot. She is _Morgana_. She is bad news. She killed people…" _But so did you. _Is inner voice said to him. "She has no good in her…" He leaned against a tree. "Which is not true…there is plenty of good buried inside…" His head was hurting, that was all too much for him. "I can't give into whatever this is…it would betray Arthur and our destiny…"

* * *

Gaius was checking on a patient very early in the morning and when he entered his chambers, he saw a very bad looking Arthur sitting on one of his chairs.

"Sire, what can I do for you?" He asked.

Arthur groaned. His expression was similar to a little child who just got a 'no' from his parents. "Have you heard from Merlin, Gaius?" he asked.

Gaius understood immediately why Arthur seemed so depressed. Merlin was gone for almost a month now and it was the longest time they ever spent apart in almost a decade.

"I am sorry sire, I haven't heard from him, but I'm sure he will be back soon.' That was at least what he hoped. Gaius missed Merlin as well. Camelot was awfully quiet without the boy.

Arthur groaned again, making a pouting face. "Gaius?" he asked a bit unsure.

"Yes sire?" The old man asked.

"Can you…call me clotpole….or just insult me?"

It was the oddest question Gaius has ever been asked. "I'm sorry…sire?"

Arthur stood up and clapped his back. "Just one insult, please? Guinevere won't do it and Gwaine laughed at me."

Gaius smiled uneasily. "You are…a…clotpole….sire." he said.

Arthur looked at him, but his expression didn't change. "That just doesn't feel the same." He said and left a stunned Gaius behind.

* * *

Morgana couldn't get any sleep all night. Merlin stayed outside, he was obviously avoiding her. They were so close the night before, she couldn't understand what was wrong with him. Or simply didn't want to understand. Deep down she knew that what they were doing was wrong, that he couldn't betray Arthur like that, but the way he left her still made her furious.

She walked outside, determined to find him and making him talk. Even if it meant pinning him against a tree via magic.

Aithusa was jumping from tree to tree trying to catch a few birds, but there was no Merlin. She walked down a path they recently discovered, it led to a small lake. And there he was, standing in the water, his trouser legs pulled up to his knees, his tunic hanging behind him on a small tree.

She couldn't help and staring at him, she mustered his bare chest. _Being Arthur's servant is really a good way to work out. _She shook her head. She couldn't get distracted.

"Merlin!" she said angrily and stepped towards the lake, her hands put to her hips.

He turned around, a bit embarrassed that she could see him like this. He felt a bit exposed. But she didn't care. "We need to talk about it."

Merlin knew what she meant, but he couldn't. He wasn't sure how he would react. "I don't see the need to talk about…whatever that was last night." _Mistake, I should have played completely dump._

"So you admit there was something last night?" Since he was obviously not leaving the lake, she decided to step into the water and walked towards him.

He gulped, the last thing he needed was having her close right now. "Morgana, your dress –"

"I don't care about my dress!" she snapped. "Why did you run out? Why did you avoid me? And don't tell me you didn't feel anything last night, you admitted you once had feelings for me!" She was in a complete rage.

"Yes, I said I _once had _feelings for you, as in the _past_!" he snapped back. He knew he was being harsh, but it just couldn't be.

"Don't lie to me, I've seen the look in your eyes." She tried not to sound too hurt. She couldn't have imagined it, could she?

"You really think there could be something between us after everything that happened?" He shouted.

Morgana laughed bitterly. "I should ask you that question! You were the one popping up out of nowhere and saving me without further explanation."

Was that it? Was all the progress they made ruined because of a fight? "I told that I –"

"What did you tell me?" she cut him off. "You told me nothing! Just half answers and pieces and you frustrate me to no end!" She stared into his eyes, at his lips, his chest. She felt her magic getting out of control inside of her, that much of an effect had he on her and she hated it. She hated it and it thrilled her at the same time. She wanted nothing more than to touch him.

Merlin growled. "I frustrate you? Excuse me but have you met y_ou_? One day you want to go on a murder spree and take over Camelot the next day you get an emotional break down and suddenly you act like the old Morgana? What about that?"

She stepped closer to him, they were standing face to face, glaring at each other.

He couldn't stand the closeness anymore. Every fibre of his body wanted her. He hoped his eyes wouldn't flash golden in front of her, it took all his strength to stay under control, but it was getting harder and harder.

"You betrayed me, fought me and suddenly you saved me…stop confusing me!" she hissed angrily.

"And you stop switching between being insane and sweet, I can't take it anymore." He moved even closer to her, knowing it could only get worse.

"You know what, I hate you Merlin." She shouted.

"I hate you, Morgana." He said back.

Her hands were shaking. "Fine." She turned around. Even angrier, more confused and most of all disappointed.

"Bloody hell…" Merlin cursed. He grabbed her arm and turned her around to face him once more. She was slightly shocked. "Merlin, what –"

She couldn't finish her sentence. He grabbed the back of her head, pulled her closer and crashed his lips on hers.

Morgana was too shocked to response at first, but then she kissed him back with all she got. She swung her arms around his neck, pulling him closer. His hands drifted down to her hips. His tongue slid over her lips, asking for entrance which she allowed immediately. It was a fight for dominance, which it always has been with them. Their kiss was filled with passion, anger, unresolved feelings and hope, hope they both tried to push away years ago.

Their magic was becoming one, water was flying around them, but neither of them noticed, they were completely lost into each other.

* * *

Miles away at some for humans unknown place the great dragon Kilgharrah felt something he never felt before. A clash of magic, an unusual one. The energies of Emrys and the witch combined in a way he never thought could be possible.

And it worried him. If this was true it could change the course of destiny forever.


	2. Fate Awakening Of Love

**AN: Hey guys! Thank you so much for the great response. I can't believe it :) I'm so sorry about the stupid mistakes I made, but thanks for pointing them out. (Actually a few of them are to blame on damn autocorrect...like stabbed/stepped...I should learn to read correctly -.-)**_**  
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**Anyways, I put a small scene from 5x08 into this chapter, because absolutley loved it...am I the only one thinking that badass Merlin is the most awesome Merlin? XD  
**

**I really hope you'll enjoy the chapter and please leave a review and let me know what you think :)**

* * *

_**Part 2: Fate Awakening Of Love**_

It was nightfall when Mordred decided to leave Camelot. Being a royal knight no one would asked questions or suspect him of trying anything. The king trusted him with his life. Mordred almost laughed at the irony. Arthur had not a clue who he was trusting, he was an oblivious fool. He knighted the one man destined to be his downfall. Mordred chuckled. But what could he expect from a man that never noticed that his so-called best friend was a sorcerer?

Merlin not being in Camelot should be good for him. After all he was the only one suspecting that something was not right, well maybe the old fool Gaius noticed it too, but he was too weak to do anything against him. But somehow Mordred was tense ever since Merlin left. He didn't buy his story about his mother being sick, he knew something was going on and he knew that it wouldn't be good for him.

So he decided to meet one of his allies, he needed to be prepared for whatever Merlin was planning.

"Alvarr, show yourself." Mordred said once he reached the beginning of the woods.

The tall man appeared in front of him. "It is good to see you again, Mordred." He pulled him into a short friendly hug. "Look at you, a knight of Camelot."

Mordred laughed bitterly. "I despise wearing _his _crest, doing what _he _asks me to do." He hissed angrily. "But I have no choice."

Alvarr hadn't seen the boy in a while, but he could immediately tell how strong he had become, stronger than he could ever be. "Tell me Mordred, why don't you kill that bastard? I'm sure you have opportunity." He suggested.

Mordred shook his head. "No, he doesn't deserve death just like that. He is Uther's son, he watched his father's tyranny for years and decided to look away and his views on magic aren't any better…no Arthur Pendragon deserves pain and destruction before he dies. He will see his beloved Camelot burn, he will watch people he loves and cares about die…just like our kind did for many years."

Alvarr understood Mordred perfectly. He lived in the shadows for too long, lost enough people, so why should Arthur and Camelot deserve something else. "Tell me Mordred, what can I do for you?"

Mordred smirked. "Just wanted to know how our army is doing."

* * *

Morgana snuggled against Merlin. They were still sitting by the lake, wrapped in his tunic. They didn't know how long they've been there, kissing and enjoying each other's presence.

"Who would have ever thought we would end up here?" She said, a light laugh escaping her lips.

He softly kissed her head. "Not me that's for sure." He was softly stroking her arms. He couldn't believe everything that had happened between them. Only a few weeks ago they were sworn enemies, now they were what exactly? Not friends that was for sure. Lovers? His feelings were dancing tango inside of him. Everything was so new, so exciting and yet so dangerous. He knew how close he was losing the control over his magic while kissing her; he didn't want to imagine what would have happen if they did more than 'just kissing'.

Not that he didn't want to do more; he just couldn't risk it, not now. _And if I just tell her? Lies were what caused all the pain in the first place. No, I can't._

Morgana turned her head around to face him. He looked conflicted. "I know this cannot be." She said sadly.

He raised an eyebrow. "What?"

She softly touched his cheek. "Us. I know we are supposed to stand on different sides, to hate each other…I know that Arthur would have your head if he ever found out…but I can't help it…" A few tears were running down her cheeks. "I don't know the last time I was that happy. I'm just happy….and now…I don't know how I will ever be able to let you go again."

Her words touched him deeply. He perfectly understood her feelings and fears. They couldn't be together; it was like a law of nature or rather a law of destiny. But she didn't know that. She didn't know that he was Emmys, didn't know that no matter what they felt the stars already decided against them. Though she was right with one thing, Arthur would probably kill him if he would ever find out. He would charge him with treason and he couldn't even blame him for it.

He softly dried her tears. "Let's forget about it then…just for some time. No Sides. No Camelot. No Arthur." Merlin wasn't even sure what made him suggest that, they couldn't escape reality, and so why was he so desperate to try?

"Okay…" she said, he voice filled with insecurities.

He smiled and pulled her closer for a long, deep kiss.

And that feeling, her lips on his, her fragile body in his arms, her warmth surrounding him, that was exactly why he couldn't let go. It was different from everything he ever felt before. Reality could wait; they would be back there soon enough.

* * *

Gaius had a bad feeling, something was going on, something was not right and if he suspected correctly it had to do with Merlin.

He was skeptical about Merlin's sudden wish to return to Ealdor, he didn't notice he got a message telling him Hunith was sick. It was odd for Merlin not telling him directly, he always shared his worries with him.

And now he was gone for nearly a month. No letter. Nothing. And it started to worry him. It wasn't that he didn't trust Merlin, he was absolutely sure that whatever he was doing, he had a good reason for it. He just couldn't understand why he didn't trust him with his problem.

* * *

_Morgana opened her eyes, she was surrounded by darkness. "Oh no…" she whispered scared. "Hello?"_

_No one answered her, she was all alone. She sat down and wrapped her arms around her knees."Please let me go…" she sobbed. _

_This place was worse than everything she experienced before. Worse than all of her nightmares, worse than the fear that Uther could discover her magic , worse than Merlin's betrayal. _

"_You were just a dirty little secret." She looked up, Uther was standing in front of her, his eyes filled with hatred. "You were my biggest mistake! I could never see you as my daughter!"_

_She stood up."Why are you doing this?" She shouted at him, knowing deep down in her mind he wasn't even there._

"_Because he hates you." A familiar voice said. "You are not worthy of a king. You are not worthy of anyone, sorcerers."_

_She covered her mouth with her hand. "Arthur, please….I love you…I love you….." she started to cry._

_A shrill laugh made her turn around once more. "He doesn't need your love, not when he has mine." Gwen said sweetly and pulled Arthur into a deep kiss. "He is mine, you are not worthy of love, not worthy to be a queen." And they disappeared in front of her eyes._

"_Don't leave me here, don't leave me!" She cried and tried to run after them, but there was nothing but darkness. _

_She sunk back on her knees. "What have I done? How do I deserve this?"_

"_You exist, that is enough." She looked up and directly into Merlin's friendly eyes. He smiled, but his voice was hard and bitter. "What made you think someone like you could ever deserve anything better? Wanna know why I poisoned you?" he kneed down beside her. "Because I simply don't care about you. I never did, never will. It will always be Arthur and Gwen and Camelot. You mean nothing!"_

"_Merlin please….don't say that…" she begged. "Don't….don't….Merlin I…I lo –"_

"Morgana wake up!" Merlin shouted.

She opened her eyes, breathing heavily, sweat was running down her forehead, her hands were cold as ice. She was almost hyperventilating. _It was only a dream, just a dream. _She tried to assure herself.

"It's okay, Morgana. You're safe with me." He pulled her into his arms and kissed her hair. "I'll protect you." He was scared for her, those dreams were horrible and the weakened her everytime.

"It was horrible….I was at that dark place again….Arthur was there and Uther and Gwen and you…you told me I didn't matter, that you never cared about me…" She cried into his chest.

He wished he could help her, wished he could do something to stop her nightmares, but there was nothing he could do, not without knowing what exactly was going on. It reminded him of the time when her visions first started and how eager he was to help.

"But I do…I care about you…I care so much about you…" he whispered softly.

She looked at him, a weak smile on her lips."I know…I know that wasn't you…It just always feels so real."

Merlin leaned back against the wall, Morgana rested her head in his lap, he gently stroked her head. "Those dreams….when did they start?"

She thought about it for a while, they weren't always there, she was sure about that. "I think I had the first one shortly after Aithusa saved me. When I escaped Camelot three years ago it didn't look so good for me…but Aithusa she breathed at me and I was better…after that the dreams started…but they never came so often or were that strong." She knew she probably sounded insane.

Merlin closed his eyes for a moment. He needed to collect his thoughts. He knew that sometimes a dragon's breath could save a person, if their will was just strong enough to survive. What he didn't know was that a dragon's breath could trigger memories, he was still sure she was reliving a terrible memory.

"There was this tale Arthur once told me…" He started, she looked curiously at him. "What tale?

"We were hunting, it was already getting dark and we made a campfire and…just started to share some stories we heard from our childhood." He smiled at this memory. He always enjoyed trips when it was just him and Arthur. In those rare moments they weren't the king of Camelot and his manservant, they were just two friends hanging out. "There was this story Uther used to tell him as a boy, to scare him when he was too cheeky, it was about a dark Tower." Merlin still shuddered thinking about that story, back then it really scared him. "The tower is place filled with the darkest and evilest magic, it can only be found if you already know where it is. A place so dark, that you think you drown into the nothing."

Morgana shivered, it sounded exactly like the horrible place in her dreams.

"If you're captured there, you probably go insane. Alone in the darkness, completely in solitude, no light, nothing. Only you and your deepest fears. It says the tower was used by priests and priestesses of the Old Religion to torture people, to break their will, to make them their slaves. The darkness plays with your emotions, it makes you see things that aren't there, let you hear voices of your loved ones…but no one is ever there. The priests then visited their prisoners from time to time. They appeared as the only people who still cared for them, their last hope." Merlin took a deep breath, Morgana's body was tense in his arms. "And then Arthur said that Uther told him if he would not behave he would throw him into that tower." He chuckled briefly.

Morgana searched for his eyes. He could read the confusion and fear in them. Everything he told her sounded just like a scene from one of her dreams, but that wasn't possible, was it? _It is just a story…_

"You don't think Morgause…" she couldn't even speak it out loud. Could everything that was between her and her sister, the strong bond, the trust, the love be a product of a cruel torture and manipulation?

Merlin looked away, he knew she wouldn't like to think about Morgause in that way, but to him it suddenly made sense. He always wondered how Morgana changed so drastically in just a year. How all of her love and compassion turned into such a deep hatred. He always blamed his betrayal on her change, but he never believed it has been the only reason for her to forget who she really was. If Morgause however used some dark, old magic on her it would explain a lot. Even more than that, it would mean she was never fully responsible for her evil actions.

His silence told her enough. Of course he believed that Morgause manipulated her. "Why did Uther never tell me that story?"

Merlin shrugged. "Maybe he didn't want to scare you."

She smiled and it scared her. She shouldn't smile thinking about Uther, she hated him. What was going on with her? Why was her hate suddenly vanishing?

Then she thought about her sister. Dear Morgause who believed in her when no one else did. She was there for her when she was all alone, betrayed by people she trusted. She was so kind and gentle, there was no way she was just using her for her own selfish reasons, right?

"It is just a story…right?" she asked.

Merlin bit his lip. He wished he could tell her what she wanted to hear, but his gut told him differently. "I never asked but…what happened during that year when you were away from Camelot?"

"I was…"she faltered. What happened during that year? Whenever she thought about it she saw Morgause, smiling at her, teaching her how to control her magic. But those images were suddenly blurry and seemed less real. "I can't remember. Merlin why can't I remember?" she panicked. Something wasn't right with her.

He pressed a chaste kiss on her lips. "It's going to be okay, I promise. We'll find out the truth." He had no idea how, but he couldn't see her suffering any longer.

Morgana nodded. It was a good feeling trusting him again. "I don't think I can go back to sleep."

Merlin grinned and jumped on his feet. He held offered her his hand. "How about a walk then? Just us and the moonlight, milady."

She smiled sweetly. "Why Merlin, you are such a romantic man."

* * *

It was already late, but Arthur was still sitting in his court room, only Sir Leon as his companion. Guinevere was already in their chambers, she was very tired and worn out lately and needed to rest. Being a Queen wasn't just fun after all.

"What is bothering you, my Lord?" Leon asked.

Arthur looked serious, a look he didn't saw very often on his old friend."It's been weeks since we last encountered Morgana, I know Mordred injured her badly, but we have no proof if she is still alive or dead."

"My men looked everywhere." Leon said, sharing his kings worries. He had seen what Morgana was capable of, the simple thought of her being out there somewhere, planning her next attack, made him shiver.

"I want her to be found." Arthur said firmly. "The last time she almost killed some of my best men and if it weren't for Mordred I wouldn't be alive anymore…" he always wondered how he and his sister ended up mortal enemies, but whatever happened to her, she needed to be stopped.

"I'll understand my Lord, I swear once we'll find her she'll get the punishment she deserves." He bowed his head and left the room.

Arthur was alone with his thoughts. How much he wished Merlin to be there with him. He was always the one he could share his worries and fears with.

* * *

They walked hand in hand through the deep forest. It was a warm summer night and everything seemed peaceful.

"I wonder where Aithusa is." Morgana said after a while, she finally calmed down after the debacle with the nightmare and Merlin's suspicions,

Merlin shrugged. "Maybe she's hunting. After all, she can't survive on bread and berries only."

Morgana raised an eyebrow. "Where did you learn so much about dragons?" It was a simple question but somehow it seemed to make him uneasy.

He gulped. He couldn't just tell her that he was the last living dragonlord, that he was there when Aithusa hatched, that he gave her, her name.

"Let's not talk about Aithusa tonight…." He said hastily.

To his surprise she seemed to accept that he didn't want to talk about it. "Okay."

They walked to the little clearing between the trees. The full moon was shining bright above them, in that very moment, all fears and insecurities were gone. It was only them and they wouldn't want it any other way.

"You know what I always wanted to ask you on those endless boring parties in Camelot?" Merlin said, a shy grin on his face.

She shook her head, even if she had her suspicions.

"I always wanted to ask you for a dance…but me being a servant and all made that impossible." He often watched her dancing with the knights or other noble men, how he envied them. He always wanted just one dance, but of course that would've never happen.

"You were always more than just a servant." She whispered and looked into his eyes.

He took a deep breath. Suddenly he was getting nervous. He wasn't used to this, being with a beautiful woman he wanted to impress more than anything. Morgana was so special she deserved only the best. "Would you like to dance with me?"

She laughed. "But Merlin, we have no music…we're in the woods!"

He softly placed one of her hands on his shoulder and rested one of his on her hips. "Just imagine the music, the laughter…imagine you would wear one of you perfect silk dresses and that I don't look like a complete fool." He whispered into her ear.

She closed her eyes as he slowly moved them around. "You could never look like a fool to me." She leaned closer against him, enjoying their own personal rhythm.

Who would have thought that Merlin of all people would be so romantic? Certainly not Morgana. She always knew he was sweet, but what he was doing for her now was actually swoon worthy. She secretly hoped that this moment would never end.

But like all good things this one came to an end as well, when suddenly an arrow landed in front of their feet.

Merlin immediately stepped in front of Morgana to shield her if necessary. She grabbed his arm and looked around.

"My, my isn't that sweet?" A deep male voice said. "Two young lovers lost in the woods." A tall blonde man appeared in front of them, behind him like five more men. Merlin looked around they were circled. There was no way to escape that situation. "Bandits." He murmured and cursed himself for not paying more attention to their surroundings.

"What a pretty lady we have here." The blonde man, obviously their leader, said eyeing Morgana.

She grabbed Merlin's arm even harder, afraid what would happen. "Merlin, the nightmare exhausted me too much, I don't think I can scare them off with magic." She whispered desperately.

The bandits pulled out there swords, they looked determined to shed blood.

Merlin was freaking out inside. If Morgana wasn't able to perform a spell, and he could basically feel her exhaustion, it was up to him to defend them. _No, no, no. That shouldn't be happening. She can't find it out like that…_

He clenched his fists. He always feared that Arthur would find out about his magic in a stupid situation like this, but to him it almost felt worse that Morgana would find out now. She just started trusting him again, that would drive her away once more.

The bandits watched Morgana voluptuously. One was even licking his lips. Merlin was disgusted by this sight. Even the thought of any of these bastards touching his Morgana was unbearable. He made a decision, he would protect her, no matter if she would hate him afterwards.

"I'm sorry, Morgana." He whispered sadly.

She didn't understand what he meant, he hadn't done anything wrong. He couldn't now about the bandits.

"If you value your lives, you won't take another step." Merlin hissed then.

Morgana's eyes widened. "What are you doing? Stop threatening them, I told you I can't protect us." She thought he had lost his mind, that his fear might made him say stupid things.

To her surprise he didn't look scared at all. His look was focused on the bandits, but something about the way he stared at them scared her. There was something in his eyes that was very uncharacteristically, something dark.

The bandit leader just laughed. "Empty you pockets and give me the woman and I may let you live."

The way he spoke about Morgana, like she was just some piece of meat, angered Merlin even more.

"I won't." He answered, his voice calm, but somehow frightening.

"Merlin…." Morgana was scared, she hated it to be helpless. But more than for herself she was scared for Merlin. He maybe got stronger over the years, but he was no match for a pack of bandits.

"Trust me." He whispered.

The bandits laughed once more. "Quiet the brave one, aren't we?" Their leader asked. "How do you want to fight me? You don't even have a sword."

Morgana could have sworn that Merlin smirked for a brief second before his face turned deadly serious again. "I don't need one." He growled.

What happened next was a series of events which Morgana only noticed in a weird slow motion sequence.

She looked at Merlin and in that very moment his eyes flashed golden. The bandits were thrown away. They screamed 'magic' and 'sorcerer' and ran for their lives.

She stepped away from Merlin, her whole body was shaking, she wanted to cry. That wasn't true. That couldn't be true. She hoped she was just imagining things, that she was having another nightmare. Merlin a sorcerer, that just couldn't be true.

"You….you…have…" she couldn't even say the word 'magic' out loud.

Merlin couldn't really look into her eyes. He was too ashamed of himself. "Please Morgana…let me explain…"

She shook her head and stumbled backwards. "No….no…" Tears were running down her cheeks. "Tell me that isn't truth….tell me I'm dreaming….please….just tell me you didn't lie to me for all these years…." She didn't want to believe it, something inside of her just refused it.

Merlin was on the edge of crying as well. Seeing her hurting so much, was painful for him as well. He didn't want to hurt her, he didn't want to be reason why she cried. "I wanted to tell you…I just…." He remembered the time when he almost told her about his magic. If it weren't for Gaius or Kilgharrah he probably would have told her years ago, but he was a coward, instead of listening to his own heart, he listened to them.

"Magic….all those years….back home in Camelot when I was feelings so alone…so scared….you…you…" She couldn't even look at him anymore. "You never told me…you didn't trust me…"

Merlin made a few steps forward, he knew he had no right to justify what he did, but he needed to try. After years he finally had a chance to get the old Morgana back, he just couldn't ruin it because of some bandits. "Morgana…" he reached his hand out.

"Don't you dare touching me Merlin….I just can't!" she turned around and ran as fast as her feet would let her. She didn't look back, didn't stop once, probably didn't even breathed. She made all the way back to the cave and crept inside. She leaned against the wall and cried her heart out. _How could he betray me like that? I thought he…I thought we…_

* * *

Merlin didn't run after her, she needed her space. He knew he probably messed it up completely and she would never speak to him again. Or worse she would fall back into her murderous insanity. He almost laughed at himself. What a stupid little situation it was that gave him away. Such unimportant bandits ruined their relationship. _No, it wasn't the bandits, it was, because you still refused to trust her._

He walked back to the cave, he could hear her crying and screaming and it broke his heart. It was his fault that she felt this way again.

He sat down on the dirty ground, Aithusa landed next to him, a rabbit in her mouth. She looked at him with big eyes, like if she wanted to ask what was wrong.

"I'm always ruining things, Aithusa." He said sadly. "I couldn't save her the first time and now I'm losing her again and it always comes down to my cowardice."

The young dragon let her rabbit fall down next to him. She softly nudged his shoulder. Merlin chuckled. "You wanna make me feel better? Thank you Aithusa, but I don't think I deserve it."

She opened her mouth and for a second Merlin thought she start to talk, but only a tiny sound that reminded him more of a bird than a dragon escaped her.

He patted her head. "I promise you something Aithusa, if she will listen I'll tell her everything. I'm so done lying." He wasn't sure if he was making a promise to the dragon or to himself, but he knew there was no way his lies would drift them apart any further.

* * *

Arthur watched Gwen with concern over the breakfast table. She looked pale and tired and he started to worry about her. "You should see Gaius, Guinevere."

She smiled and shook her head. "I'm fine, Arthur." She tried to sound confidant about it, but she wasn't so sure either. Something didn't feel quite right about her body lately, but she blamed it on exhaustion. Or maybe she was having a cold. It couldn't be something serious.

"You sure about that?" He stood up and walked towards her. "I just want you to be okay." He leaned over to kiss her temple.

"I swear I'm fine." She said and pulled him into a deeper kiss.

* * *

When Morgana woke up in the morning, her whole body hurt. She wondered when she had fallen asleep, all she remembered was crying. A part of her still hoped that she was just caught in one of her terrible nightmares, that Merlin was still Merlin and not a sorcerer. But thinking about it she had to agree, it made sense. She always wondered what made Merlin so different from everyone else. Why he always knew things no one else knew, why he suddenly appeared when Arthur was in danger, how a servant managed to save the day and why he was never afraid of her or even Aithusa.

If he himself was practicing magic it suddenly all fall into place. Of course he wouldn't be afraid of magical creatures and of course he managed to save Arthur when no one else could. She wondered how long he was practicing magic and if Gaius was the one who taught him how to use it.

She was still angry and hurt, but she desperately wanted to believe that their connection was real, that his feelings for her were real and so she decided to give him a chance. He let her explain a few things after he rescued her, now she would let him explain. He owed her some answers.

When she left the cave the sun was already shining bright, it was a beautiful day and almost let her forget her worries for a minute.

She looked for Merlin. He was soundlessly asleep, resting his head against Aithusa and if she wouldn't be angry she would actually enjoy that picture.

He looked like Merlin again, the Merlin she knew, not the sorcerer who scared of a bunch of bandits last night.

"Merlin…." She said and started to shook him, "Merlin, wake up!"

He opened his eyes. "What?" He asked.

She didn't smile at him, but she didn't look hostile either.

Merlin was surprised to actually see her, he thought she would stay in that cave for a few days at least. "Morgana!" He immediately jumped on his feet. "Morgana, I am so, so –"

"Let's take a walk." She suggested, looking briefly at the sleeping Aithusa.

Merlin nodded. She was in charge. He would grant her every wish and if she would decide to punish him in whatever way he was fine with that. He deserved punishment.

They walked down to the lake. Neither of them said a word. When they reached it Morgana sat down in the grass and put her feet into the fresh, cold water.

Merlin sat down next to her, doing the same. He looked at her from the corner of an eye. He didn't dare to speak first.

Morgana took a deep breath, she actually needed all of her courage to speak to him. "Arthur doesn't know." She said and it was actually more a statement than a question.

"No." Merlin said.

She nodded. That was a beginning. "I can't believe you could keep it a secret for so long…how come he never found out?" She was almost amused by her brother's oblivion, but then again, she had magic herself and never noticed it.

Merlin shrugged. "Arthur probably only sees what Arthur wants to see." If he was completely honest with himself, he wondered for years now how Arthur never found by accident.

"All those times when Arthur should have died….it was always you protecting him, right?" she already knew the answer to that question, but she needed to hear it from his mouth.

"Yes…I did a few things I'm not proud of believe me, but I did what I had to do." He still wasn't looking at her. He was still too ashamed, but at least they had a civil conversation.

Morgana was confused. If Merlin was practicing magic, why was he helping Uther's son?

"I want freedom for those with magic as much as you do." He said suddenly, as if he could read her thoughts. "And there were many occasions where I wanted Uther dead…but Arthur…he is different from his father. He is a good man and he already sees the good in magic. I'm sure he will lift the ban on it one day."

Morgana wasn't sure if Merlin was just being too positive or simply naïve, but his trust in Arthur somehow impressed her. How she wished she would have had that trust when she discovered her magic.

"Why didn't you tell me? When I first told you about my magic or even now…after we reconnected?" Her voice was filled with pain. She just couldn't understand why he didn't trust her enough with his secret. She would have never told Arthur, she would have died to keep him save.

"I wanted too…" he confessed, "But I listened to some very bad advice." He knew he was to blame for believing Gaius and Kilgharrah, but still if it hadn't been for them, he maybe would have told her.

"Gaius?" she asked. She was sure that Gaius was the one introducing him to magic, so he was the obvious choice.

"Among others." He answered, not entirely sure if she could handle Kilgharrah already.

She gave him a puzzled look and wondered who other than Gaius knew about this. But that question had time. She had other things on her mind. "How could Gaius be so irresponsible to teach you magic in a place like Camelot?" she shouted. She suddenly got angry at the old man. Sure Merlin lied, but why was he practicing magic in the first place? It was all Gaius fault.

Merlin turned around to face her. There was clearly a misunderstanding. Morgana thought he was just _practicing _sorcery, she had no idea what he truly was.

"Wait, wait, wait….you think Gaius taught me magic?" He asked.

"Of course! And don't defend him, I know he was practicing it before Uther banned it." He chuckled at her sudden rage. _Poor Gaius, _he thought.

"Morgana….I didn't _learn _magic from Gaius." His hands were sweaty, he knew sooner or later they would go done the Emrys route and that would probably freak her out even more.

Morgana didn't understand what he was getting at, or she simply didn't want to. "What do you mean?"

Merlin sighed and looked back at the lake. "It is so much more complicated." He held his hand over the water, his eyes flashed golden and a little bubble flew up to him, he played like it, like it was the most normal thing in the world.

She watched him with amazement. He controlled nature just like that, without even using a spell. Suddenly she could feel it, could feel his energy surrounding her. How did she never notice that before?

"I never had a choice, this gift or curse, you can call it both…I have it since I was born." He let the water fall back into the lake and locked his eyes with hers once more.

"You were born with it…" she repeated and slowly she started asking herself how powerful Merlin really was. Was he as powerful as her or was he weaker? Maybe he was even stronger than her. She couldn't guess.

"I was as good as dead…" she whispered. "When Mordred stabbed me, I was as good as dead…you used magic to heal me, didn't you?"

Merlin took her hand, he was afraid she might pull back, but she didn't. "I couldn't let you die…I had this feeling that….I just have to save you."

She actually smiled at him, much to his relief. He believed she was still angry and she had all reason for it, but it wasn't as bad as he thought it would be.

Once again his deep blue eyes enchanted her. She could easily yell at him, call him a liar and run away, but her heart told her not to. She knew that this reveal should scare her away, that he lied to her again and that he deserved the worst, but somehow the knowledge about Merlin's magic let her feelings for him only grow. She was sure it was wrong, that she shouldn't feel this way, but she just couldn't help it. They were one and the same.

Merlin really hoped that she would forgive him eventually, even if he didn't deserve it. He never meant for her to find out, especially in such a situation like they were in, but now he felt relieved about it. Finally he had someone else to talk to, someone he could be himself around without fear or judgment. The fact that Morgana was this person made it even more special. Talking to her about his biggest secret felt right and it made him realize something: He, Merlin was falling for Morgana Pendragon.

"Can you….can you do something about my nightmares?" Morgana asked suddenly, a bit unsure.

Merlin wished he could help her, but there was no way he would experiment some spells on her. "I'm sorry….we still don't know what exactly causes the nightmares and I don't want to make it even worse." He explained.

She looked disappointed. He scratched the back of his head, he needed to do something. _No more secrets, right?_

"I may know someone who could help you." He finally said, almost regretting his decision. "Let's get Aithusa and go to the clearing."

Morgana followed him, somehow excited for what he would show her. Maybe they could learn different magic from one another. As angry and hurt as she had been only a few hours ago, now she was just glad to have someone who could understand her.

* * *

Arthur was looking at the training field. The new knights were all doing good, he was proud of his work.

"You are a great teacher, sire." Mordred appeared next to him.

Arthur smiled. He grew really fond of the young man who saved his lives. "Thank you, Mordred. Give yourself some credit too, you're a fast leaner." He patted his back, proud to have such a remarkable young man as his knight.

"Sire?" Mordred asked carefully. "May I ask when Merlin will return?" He just needed to know, Merlin's absence actually stressed him more than him being in Camelot.

Arthur wondered why Mordred cared about Merlin, but after all they shared a history. "I don't know Mordred. I haven't heard from him since he left." And it bothered him to no end. Didn't Merlin know that Arthur worried about him?

Mordred smirked. He was sure that Merlin was everywhere but not in Ealdor. "Why don't you go looking for him? I'm sure his mother wouldn't mind." He suggested innocently.

Arthur looked back at his knights. Percival was just showing some boys how wield the sword the correct way. "I may consider it."

That was all Mordred wanted to hear.

* * *

"Merlin, what are we doing here?" she asked, looking around. There was no one besides them and Aithusa on the clearing.

Merlin still wasn't sure if he was doing the right thing. He wasn't sure how _he _would react. "Did I ever tell you about my father, Morgana?" he asked.

She shook her head, she had only ever known Hunith. Since Merlin never suggested a father, she assumed he was dead.

"My father's name was Balinor…he was banned from the kingdom because he was a dragonlord." The memory of his father made him smile. He still missed him, still missed that they never had the chance to truly get to know each other, but his father was a good man and he was proud of him.

Morgana clenched her teeth. Of course he was banned, because of Uther Merlin grew up without his father. She looked at him, wanted to say how unfair it was, but one look into his eyes and her anger was already vanishing. "What is a dragonlord?" she asked instead.

Merlin smiled. "Someone who can control dragons. Actually, if the father dies it passes over to his son…my father was the last one of his kind, so when he died –"

"You…you became a dragonlord? The LAST dragonlord?" That was almost too much for Morgana to process. Merlin had magic. Merlin was born with magic. Merlin was a sorcerer. What surprise would come next?

"Is that why Aithusa trusts you so much?" She looked at her dragon friend, that would of course explain a lot.

He grinned. "I want you to meet someone."

Then he looked into the sky and shouted: "O _drakon, e mala soi ftengometh tesd'hup anankes! Erkheo_"

Morgana's eyes widened. His voice changed completely. And what was this language? Aithusa was jumping up and down looking excited.

"What was that?" Morgana asked.

Merlin just pointed at the sky. Something was coming, something big. "Please don't be scared…" he slowly grabbed her hand.

She was too shocked to even react. There was a dragon. A giant dragon. And he was landing in front of them.

"Merlin, I wondered when you would call me." Kilgharrah said.

Morgana squeezed Merlin's hand. "There is a dragon…and he knows your name…" she whispered.

Merlin chuckled. "Morgana meet Kilgharrah and Kilgharrah….just be nice." He knew the dragon's opinion on Morgana, but he wanted to keep the conversation as polite as possible.

The dragon eyed her suspiciously. "I felt a change in the power young Warlock…" the dragon hissed.

Morgana looked up. _So that's what he is? A warlock?_

"But seeing you with the witch…I was hoping I was wrong for once." He continued. Merlin already rolled his eyes. He almost regretted summoning the dragon.

"Witch?" Morgana looked at Merlin. "He didn't mean that in a nice way, did he?"

"You have caused nothing but trouble and if Merlin would actually listen to my advice, you would be long gone." The dragon said.

Morgana couldn't believe what she was hearing. "Excuse me? Who are you to fly around, telling people who could live or die?"

Yes, Merlin regretted summoning the dragon.

He rubbed his temples. "Can we not fight, please?" He pointed at Aithusa. "We brought someone."

Kilgharrah was actually surprised to see the young dragon, the last time they met Aithusa was still a baby. "Merlin, what happened to her?" He gazed at Morgana. "You did this right, witch?"

Before Morgana could argue back, Merlin stepped between them. "If she did something, than she kept her alive. May I ask where you have been? Shouldn't you be the one teaching her how to be a good dragon and keep an eye on her?" As a dragonlord he knew, that he probably failed Aithusa too, but it made him angry that Kilgharrah blamed Morgana for something that wasn't her fault.

She briefly shot him a small, thankful smile a gesture that didn't stay unnoticed by the dragon.

"I lost her." Kilgharrah confessed, even sounding ashamed.

"Can you help her?" Merlin asked, reaching his hand out so Aithusa would come closer.

Kilgharrah hesitated. "Well, I can heal her physically, but I cannot take away young Aithusa's emotional sufferings."

"You can help her? Please do it!" Morgana begged. "My sweet Aithusa…" she softly stroked the young dragon.

Kilgharrah looked at Merlin who just gave him a nod. "Step away witch, unless you want to burn." Merlin rolled his eyes again, the dragon actually gave him a headache. But at least he warned Morgana, they could call that progress.

She stepped away from Aithusa, slightly afraid for her friend. She didn't trust that mean, old dragon, bust she trusted Merlin and was absolutely sure as long as he was around no one would harm Aithusa.

Kilgharrah took a deep breath, stepped backwards and released his huge flame upon the little dragon.

Morgana wanted to run towards her, but Merlin grabbed her arm and stopped her. "It is alright." He whispered softly.

When the flame was almost gone, Aithusa stepped out of the fire. Morgana gasped in amazement and even Merlin seemed surprised. The dragon in front of them looked nothing like weak, little Aithusa. This dragon was graceful and healthy.

"My God…" Morgana whispered as she touched Aithusa. "You look so beautiful, my darling." The dragon made a purring sound and licked Morgana's cheek.

Kilgharrah felt uncomfortable watching the witch with little Aithusa, that was not meant to be.

"She still doesn't speak." Merlin noted.

"She will learn, but it will take some time. Patience, young Warlock." The dragon said.

Merlin than smiled lovingly at Morgana and Aithusa, his heart always melted when he saw those two together.

"Merlin…" The dragon said in a very dramatic way. "I need to speak to you…in private." His eyes were fixed on Morgana again.

Merlin walked towards her and lay his arm around her waist, he suddenly felt very possessive over her. Morgana enjoyed him this way, he was showing the dragon that he couldn't treat her like that.

"If you have to say something, you can say it in front of her. I'm done having secrets." He said in a strong voice, surprising Kilgharrah once more.

Morgana's heart skipped a beat. How much their relationship changed again in only a few hours.

"Fine." The dragon hissed. "If you say so, _Emrys._"

Merlin's face went white, his jaw almost dropped. This damn dragon did not just do that? He looked at Morgana, her face showed no reaction.

Merlin could have sworn the dragon smiled at his triumph. Of course he had to say the one word that would freak her out again. "Morgana…." He whispered, unsure since this time he couldn't read her reaction.

Morgana's mind went blank for a minute or two. Merlin. Emrys. Merlin. Emrys. _Merlin was Emrys. _That was definitely too much to progress.

"_The one they call Emrys will walk in your shadows. He is your destiny and he is your doom." _She heard in her head like it has been yesterday when she heard about Emrys for the first time.

And now it turned out to be him. Merlin. Her Merlin. She believed that this was fate's way to punish her for all her sins. The one she wanted the most, was the one supposed to be her downfall.

So what should she do? What should she think? The normal reaction would probably be to run away, to fight him or to kill him in his sleep. But Morgana didn't feel angry or betrayed or even scared. She was completely calm and that scared her the most.

So she did the unusual, she smiled at Merlin. "Talk to the dragon, I don't think he likes me." She actually giggled. "I'll meet you back at the cave." Then she turned to Aithusa. "Come on, darling. Let the adults talk."

Merlin stared after her. "O…kay…" he said after a while. That wasn't the reaction he suspected. That was weird. Beyond weird, actually. _Maybe she is in a shock? Or in denial? Please don't let it be both._

Kilgharrah didn't seem so amused. His plan was actually to reveal Merlin as Emrys to get Morgana to show her real witchy face. Merlin needed to get back to the right path, which meant far away from her. This reaction however was not what he hoped for.

When Merlin finally felt able to speak again, he was angry. "Care to explain why you did that?" He yelled at the dragon.

If Kilgharrah could actually shrug he would have done that in this very moment. "You told me there were no secrets between the two of you." He answered innocently.

Merlin shook his head in disbelief. "I thought you were my friend!" he snapped.

That actually hurt Kilgharrah a bit. He considered the warlock as his friend, not just as his master. "I am your friend Merlin, that is why I am warning you."

Merlin crossed his arms. "Let me guess, you tell me now that Morgana is the pure evil, that we're destined to hate each other and that actually getting along is against the rules."

Kilgharrah wondered when Merlin gained so much self-confidence. "I believe there is more between you and the witch than just getting along, Merlin."

Merlin blushed immediately. There was no way the dragon could know what he was actually feeling towards her. "Even if…isn't it better when we're fighting on the same side?" He was confused by Kilgharrah's behavior. Having Morgana on the good side again was actually an advantage for them. If he hadn't to worry about her, he could focus on Mordred alone, plus she could help him in his battle.

"You have to understand, young Warlock, that the course of destiny has been written in the stars a long, long time ago. You cannot change what has been prophesied." Kilgharrah saw the confusion in Merlin's eyes, which quickly changed into something else. Something even Kilgharrah couldn't interpret.

"All my life…people tell me what to do about my powers, about my place and about my _great _destiny. I know that I have to protect Arthur, I know that I have to stop Mordred and I know that changing one little thing could destroy Albion's future forever…." He shook his head, he was about to admit something he always tried to suppress. "I'm tired of this. Look, I want that future as much as you do, I want it with all my heart, but…for once in my life I want to make a selfish decision. I don't know if you can understand that, but I don't care if destiny wants us to fight each other, I finally got her back, I'm not losing her again."

Kilgharrah wasn't too familiar with human emotions, but he believed that that what Merlin was feeling was the greatest emotion humans were capable of. Still, he disagreed about his wish. He had a destiny to fulfill, come what may. "I wish for your happiness, but be warned, changing destiny will not come without a price." He said and flew away, leaving Merlin by himself.

* * *

Morgana lay next to the fireplace and stared at the air. She learned so much today. Merlin was a warlock. A dragonlord. He was friends with a grumpy dragon who wanted to burn her. Merlin was Emrys. They were destined to fight each other to death.

"Hey…" Merlin slowly entered the cave, not sure what to expect. He sat down next to her. "I should have told you about…"

"You being the most powerful warlock ever existed?" She chuckled. It was actually hard to believe that Merlin was really that powerful. She remembered his clumsy and awkward days and yet, there has always been a power deep inside of him. A power she could only dream of. She was impressed by him.

Merlin looked down at her, he couldn't understand why she wasn't angry with him.

Suddenly she started to laugh, she laughed like crazy and couldn't stop.

"Morgana?" Merlin asked concerned.

"Imagine Arthur's face if he ever finds out you're so much stronger than him. That'll be priceless." She couldn't get that image out of her head. "I bet he will be all like 'I always knew that Merlin was great, actually he is just great because of me…we make good team, isn't that right, Merlin?'" she started to laugh again.

Merlin was more confused than ever. "I'm happy you're having fun…" Actually thinking about Arthur in that way made him smile as well, "But I don't understand…why aren't you angry or scared?"

Her face suddenly turned serious. "A part of me is still processing I guess."

He leaned over her. "I'm sorry. That must have been a shock. I swear I wanted to tell you, but that damn dragon –"

She put her lips on his finger. "I know that we are supposed to be enemies, Merlin."

He wasn't sure what kind of emotions were rushing through him. Ever since he kissed her, he couldn't care less about destiny and prophecies.

"Destiny is something powerful, something we shouldn't mess with…" she said, locking her eyes with his.

"Morgana…" he started, but wasn't actually sure what to say.

"But…I believe that you and me…we are something good. And destiny or fate…I don't care anymore." She smiled, her brilliant, astonishing smile.

Merlin looked at her in disbelief. He leaned closer to her, their faces were only inches apart now. "I want you so much." He whispered in a hoarse voice.

She touched his cheek. "You're already my doom, Merlin." She said and pulled his lips on hers.

They were kissing with a passion like there was no tomorrow, like they only got this one night before destiny itself would punish them, but none of them cared.

Morgana fell back on the floor, pulling Merlin with her. He pulled away from her lips and placed hot kissed down her neck. She moaned.

Neither of them cared for the rest of the world anymore. It was only them. Clothes were soon lying everywhere, skin was crushing down on skin. He wanted nothing more than to kiss every inch of her body.

Magic was surrounding them. Merlin's hand entangled with hers, a golden glow briefly appeared between them.

"I can feel your magic…" she whispered, smiling at him.

He smiled back, leaning down again to kiss her. "And I can feel yours."

She pulled him closer, both knew that this night was the point of no return, there was no going back anymore.

As their bodies melted together, their magic became one and the course of destiny changed.

* * *

Arthur walked up and down in his bedroom.

Gwen was watching him for about ten minutes before she had enough. "Okay, what is wrong you're making me nervous."

He sat down next to her. "I'm sorry….but I think I made a decision."

"Which is?" she asked, thinking if she missed a court meeting or something.

Arthur grinned. "I will ride to Ealdor. Time to get him back."


	3. All Is Well In Camelot

_****_**AN:**** Wow...that is actually all I can say. Thank you all so much for your reviews. I can't even express how thankful I am. And thank you for the favs and alerts. Really you guys totally rock!****  
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**I said this story would be a five - parter, nothing more...well I was thinking about expanding it a bit, to add more story and character interactions, what do you think?  
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**Like I said before I love scenes were Merlin is kinda badass, so here's a little scene I really enjoyed writing.  
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**Hope you'll enjoy the chapter, please leave a review and let me now what you think :)**

* * *

_**Part 3: All Is Well In Camelot**_

Mordred stared outside the window of his small chamber in the knight's quarters. Something was in the air. Something magical.

He bit his lip and looked up to the stars. His destiny was sealed. He knew what he had to do, he knew he would succeed. It was his purpose in life to kill Arthur.

So why did he have the weird feeling that destiny wasn't reliable anymore?

* * *

Morgana's head rested on Merlin's chest. They were only covered from the old blanket Merlin brought along. He softly stroked her bare arms. He couldn't believe how everything had changed that night.

"So, it is your destiny to protect Arthur and help him to reunite Albion?" she asked.

He put a chaste kiss on her shoulder; it felt so good knowing that he could kiss her whenever he wanted now. "Yes. At least it was…who knows what destiny means now since we probably unleashed the Apocalypse." He laughed. He knew that the whole situation probably wasn't funny at all, but for once he was too happy to care.

She giggled. "Talk about pressure." She felt sorry for him. "It must have been hard for you, knowing that one mistake and all would be for nothing." It helped her a lot to know what he knew, to understand his motives and actions. She couldn't even blame him for the poisoning her anymore. She didn't know what she would have done in his shoes. He lived so long with that prophecy on his shoulders, she wished she could take some of the pressure and pain away from him.

Merlin smiled. It felt so good to talk to her about all of this. Sure he had Gaius and on occasion Kilgharrah, but he always felt that none of them ever understood what was going on inside of him. His constant fear to fail his destiny, his sacrifices and the loneliness. Morgana however, she understood. She didn't judge or tried to talk him into something, no with her he could be himself, completely without any compromises.

"Everything was always about destiny…never about choice." He said thoughtful.

She got up and leaned over him. "You're not destiny's tool, Merlin. You are so much more than that." She whispered softly.

He smiled at her. "You are my choice, Morgana." He pushed himself up and met her lips.

She smiled into the kiss. It wasn't filled with fire or uncontrollable passion like the ones before, this kiss was chaste and soft and filled with so much love.

When they pulled away, she leaned her forehead against his. "So…today, you wanted to ask your dragon friend about my nightmares…but you didn't."

He sighed. "Yeah…I don't trust Kilgharrah that much when it comes to you…"

Morgana sighed. "He really doesn't like me, hm?"

"He doesn't know you. He only sees…destiny." Would that damn word ever leave them alone? Merlin looked down, how much he wished they could stay in that cave forever, just being together, far away from all their problems, far away from the world.

"Promise me something…" Morgana said. She gently touched his cheek to focus his eyes on hers once more.

"Everything…" He breathed out, being completely lost in her beauty once more.

"Promise…that we won't let others decide for us anymore. If our destiny is already written in the stars…than let's scratch that and rewrite our own story." Her voice was so hopeful, so loving.

Merlin nodded. "I promise."

Back in Ealdor is mother always told him how special he was, that he was her _magical _boy, that he would change the world and would do something great one day. When he arrived in Camelot it became Gaius job to tell him that. Gaius always believed in Merlin's power. He always believed in his great destiny and that nothing could stop him from fulfilling it. Kilgharrah advised him from day one. He could come to him whenever he had a problem. He told him things about the future, things that needed to happen and things he needed to prevent. To him it was all written in stone. The druids even had their own name for him. They called him _Emrys, _they laid all their hope in him, read about him and told stories. To most of them he was something like a savior. Then there was Arthur. Amazing, brave and kind-hearted Arthur who had no idea about all of this. But still Arthur depended on Merlin as well, even if he had no clue on how much.

Looking at Morgana for the first time in his life he felt free. She didn't saw a magical boy, who would change the world, a fulfiller of a great destiny or a savior. She just saw a man and that was all he ever wanted to be.

He crashed his lips down on hers again. He didn't know what was going on with him, but he needed her. He needed her like oxygen, when not even more.

She quickly responded to his kiss. She could drown into him. His soul, his body, even his magic. It all reached out to her and in a way it made her feel complete. Like some piece of her had always been missing up until this moment.

He grabbed her body and flipped them around, so he was lying on the top of her again.

She giggled. "Never thought you could be that bold."

He cracked a smile. "You never believed I had magic either."

She rolled her eyes. "Shut up and kiss me, Merlin." She ordered playfully and swung her legs around his hips.

"Yes, Milady." He laughed. For one night the world was perfect.

* * *

Arthur was up very early. He quickly kissed Gwen, who was still asleep on the forehead and got dressed.

He looked at himself in the mirror. _See Merlin, I can dress myself. _He thought and again he realized how much he missed fighting with him.

He smiled. That was the reason why this 'mission' was a great idea.

Arthur walked to the knight's quarters and knocked at Mordred's door.

The young boy opened it, surprised to see the king himself in front of the door. "Sire, what can I do for you?"

Arthur grinned and patted the boy's shoulder. "I was thinking about your idea and came to the conclusion you were right…we head out to Ealdor in an hour. Go get Gwaine and meet me in the court yard. We're getting Merlin back."

Mordred couldn't believe that Arthur really listened to him. _Foolish man._

He was still convinced that Merlin had lied, the way he acted was just too suspicious. Now everything was perfect. His plan was set in motion. If Arthur would catch Merlin in a lie, he would never trust him again.

* * *

_Ealdor was a peaceful place. The people lived a simple, but mostly happy life. _

_The sun was shining, people were up early, starting their work on the fields. Hunith was hanging out her laundry and smiled. It seemed like a beautiful day._

"_The king is coming, the kings is coming!" Robert, the ten year old neighbor's son shouted and ran excited through the village._

_Hunith looked up. She wondered what king would bother to come to Ealdor. The only man she knew who was kind enough to care for the small people was none other than the king of Camelot. "Can it be?" she said to herself, a sudden rush of happiness ran through her body. If Arthur would be there, than Merlin would be with him. _

_She dropped her laundry and ran forward to look for the visitors. She hadn't seen her boy for at least three years and even when she had seen him the last time, it was only for a couple of hours._

_Arthur rode into the village, looking like the king she always knew the boy could be. He was followed by two young men, one with dark hair, a beard and a mischievous grin on his lips. The other one was boy, probably not much older than sixteen, with black curls and pale skin. But there was no Merlin._

"_My lord!" Hunith exclaimed._

_Arthur smiled and jumped from his horse. "Hunith!" he seemed genuinely happy to see her and hugged her immediately. _

"_My lord, you really don't have to –" _

"_I told you to call me Arthur, years ago." He cut her off and smiled. He briefly glanced at his man and silently ordered them to get from their horses. "Meet two of my bravest knights, Sir Gwaine and Sir Mordred."_

_Hunith smiled friendly. "It is my pleasure."_

_Gwaine's grin grew wider. He heard a lot about that woman from Merlin, so he already liked her._

_Hunith had always been curious to meet Gwaine, Merlin spoke very fondly of him in his letters. About Mordred however, she never heard a word._

"_It is good to see you happy and well Hunith." Arthur said, "So Merlin actually did a good job in nursing you. I was worried, I mean he learned a lot, but he is no Gaius."_

_Hunith raised an eyebrow. There had to be some kind of misunderstanding. "Excuse my…I mean Arthur. But what are you talking about?"_

_Now it was Arthur's turn to be confused. "I'm talking about your illness. Merlin left for Ealdor a month ago to help you. I'm here to see how you're doing and to…well get Merlin back."_

_Hunith didn't understand what was going on. Was Merlin planning on visiting her and lying to Arthur so he would allow it? And if that was the case, where was he? _

"_Arthur….I'm not sick…I…I have no idea where Merlin is, I thought he was with you in Camelot!" she started to panic. A part of her feared her son would be in more trouble now, but she had to tell Arthur, he needed to find him._

_Arthur stared at her in a shock for a moment. "He is not…has not been…but…why would he lie? He never lied to me before…"_

_Mordred smirked. His plan was working._

"_Relax Princess, I'm sure there's a logical explanation for all of this." Gwaine tried to reason. He was surprised too, but then it was Merlin, he has always been some kind of a walking mystery. He was sure if Merlin lied to Arthur, than he had a good reason for it._

_Arthur clenched his fists. "I can't believe he lied…" He looked at Gwaine and Mordred. "We have to find him and then I will get some answers." He hissed with a mixture of anger and disappointment._

Morgana sat up and tried to calm her breath. She looked at Merlin who was asleep next to her. _That can't be, can it?_

She hadn't had a vision in years, not since Morgause gave her her bracelet. So why did it happen now? How could it happen now? The only explanation she had was that her magic somehow got too strong for the bracelet to tame it, but that was impossible, right?

She looked at her wrist. _Last night…our magic became one…maybe that made it stronger…_ She shook her head. There was no time to think about it now, she had to tell Merlin about what she saw or he would get into some serious trouble.

"Merlin, Merlin wake up!" She started to shake him. "Come on Merlin, this is important!"

He growled. "Don't tell me you wanna go for another round…" he mumbled.

Morgana blushed. "No…I mean not _now_…" her face was turning into the color of a tomato, "I had a vision!"

That caught Merlin's attention. He sat up, raising an eyebrow. "A vision? I thought you don't have visions anymore…"

"I don't know how or why it happened, it just did." Her voice was shaking. The fact that Merlin, all powerful Emrys, had no clue what was going on didn't really help her either.

"What did you see?" Merlin asked, fearing for the worst.

Morgana bit her lip. "I saw Arthur…he was in Ealdor, looking for you. When he noticed you weren't there he….seemed so sad and angry…" she knew that Arthur cherished his friends and family above everything else and yet he was betrayed over and over again. If he would catch Merlin in a lie, he would never trust him again. She blamed herself for that. After all she was one of the people who hurt Arthur deeply, even if Uther's crimes weren't even his fault. She could see that now.

Merlin was actually really calm about the situation. "Was Arthur alone?" he asked.

Morgana shook her head. "No. He had Gwaine with him and…" Her face turned dark, "And Mordred." Saying his name was like opening the stab wound all over again. She loved that boy, trusted him and yet he betrayed her like she meant nothing to him.

Merlin laughed bitterly. He suspected something like this. There was no way Arthur wouldn't even think about looking for him on his own. He trusted Merlin, so someone needed to get him to Ealdor.

"You are not surprise." Morgana said.

"He is setting me up." Merlin jumped on his feet and grabbed his clothes. "That little bugger."

Morgana flinched. It was the first time she heard Merlin cursing someone. "But he helped you, why would he set you up? How could he even now you're not home?"

Merlin told her mostly everything about their shared destiny, but he left out the Mordred part for no special reason. For once he simply forgot about it. He was preoccupied with other things.

"Mordred is the one supposed to kill Arthur." He said, his voice dark.

Morgana gasped. "Mordred? But that doesn't make any sense! Why would he join Arthur? Why would he become a knight, unless…" She paused for a moment. "Unless his plan involves him getting close to Arthur." After all that was what she ordered Agravaine to do as well.

Merlin sat down again. "You two were supposed to be allies." He carefully studied her face, he knew he shouldn't have forgotten over such an important detail.

Morgana reached for her dress. "Well, that's not going to happen."

He knew she would never turn her back on him now, not after everything that happened, however her not joining Mordred meant another part of destiny would be changed. He couldn't get the dragon's words out of his mind. _There would be consequences._

"I don't know what gave me away, but Mordred must've suspected that I'm not heading for Ealdor." He rammed his fist into the ground. "Damn! What should we do now? If Arthur finds out about us…possibly about my magic like this he'll have my head on a stick…and Mordred probably gets a medal for discovering the traitor…" He ran his hand through his hair.

Morgana hated to see him distressed like that. Last night had been so perfect and she hoped they could be together a little longer, but obviously their punishment was already starting.

"Merlin…" she grabbed his hands. "The timing in my visions is always vague…but maybe you have a few hours…if you manage to head Arthur off…"

He shook his head. "No…no….I can't leave you, not now!" He knew she was only being reasonable and that that day would eventually come, but he just couldn't let go.

Morgana gently touched his cheek. "I know…I know Merlin….but if Arthur loses his trust in you now…what good can the future hold? Your place is in Camelot at his side, no matter how much we change destiny, we can't change that."

He sighed. Of course she was right. "But what about you? You can't stay here all alone."

"I'll have Aithusa." She said with a sad smile. She could hardly bear the thought of saying goodbye to him soon.

Merlin crossed his arms. Then he had an idea. He looked through his bag and found a piece of paper and a pen, thankfully Gaius always packed more stuff than he usually needed.

"What are you doing?" Morgana asked confused.

"I'm writing a letter to my mother, just explaining that she can trust you and that you and Aithusa need help…." He looked up. "You're going to Ealdor."

* * *

They rode in silence side by side. Arthur was lost in his thoughts. Everything has been peaceful and quiet in Camelot for a while now, but there were still things that worried him.

Morgana was still out there somewhere, probably planning her revenge. He still couldn't believe what happened to her. Sometimes he missed the girl he once knew and loved.

Then there was Guinevere who worried him. She wasn't feeling well for a while now, but she still refused to see Gaius about it. Sometimes she was just as stubborn as he was.

Missing Merlin of course didn't help the situation either. He never noticed how used he was to having him around all day. He knew a king shouldn't depend on a servant like that, but it was alright for a man to depend on his best friend.

"You're awfully quiet, Princess." Gwaine suddenly said.

Arthur sighed, aside from Merlin Gwaine was the only one allowed to tease him. "Just thinking."

Gwaine chuckled. "Never something good, right? When you use your brain."

Arthur rolled his eyes. "Really? You too, Gwaine?"

"Someone has to remind you until we're having Merlin back." He smiled.

Mordred just watched the two men, the two friends acting around each other. Once upon a time he wished for a friend like that as well.

* * *

Merlin and Morgana stood in front of their hideout, none of them looked happy. Aithusa was sitting a few steps away from them, instinctively giving them some space.

"You sure your mother won't mind hiding a criminal?" Morgana half-joked. She was still surprised about Merlin's idea to go to Ealdor. On the other hand, she always liked Hunith and admired her strength and kindness, maybe staying with her would be better than being alone.

"If I trust you, I'm sure she will trust you." Merlin smiled encouraging. But his smiled dropped immediately. Even the thought of not spending every day with her hurt. It felt like he was about to say goodbye to a part of himself and that feeling was the worst he'd ever felt.

"We can do this." Morgana said and tried to sound positive. "We will see each other again and Arthur will accept magic…and…" tears started to run down her cheeks. "Mordred…Mordred won't stand a chance…." She started to sob uncontrollably. "When all of this is over…we'll be….we…."

Merlin wrapped his arms around her and pressed her against his body. "Shh. It's okay, okay…" Nothing was okay, but what was he supposed to say? He cupped her face with his hands and pressed a chaste, yet desperate kiss on her lips. "We'll find a way to be together…I promise." He grabbed the blue scarf around his neck and unfolded it. "I wish I could give you more." He whispered and gently laid the scarf around her shoulders.

Morgana grabbed it tightly and fought her tears once more. "You have to go."

He kissed her again. "Go." She whispered.

"I'll see you soon." He hoped he would. He walked up to Aithusa and gently patted her head. "Keep her safe." He said and the dragon bowed her head.

Merlin looked at Morgana for a last time, she forced a quick, but sad smile, before he disappeared between the trees.

* * *

"Did you hear that?" Gwaine whispered.

Mordred shook his head. He didn't hear anything nor could he feel a presence. He hoped they wouldn't get attacked by bandits. Sure, he was a solid fighter, but he didn't want to risk using magic by accident. He wondered how Merlin managed it to fool Arthur for so many years.

A sudden louder noise caught all of their attention.

"Again…" Gwaine whispered.

Arthur grabbed Excalibur and jumped down from his horse. He exchanged a quick look with Gwaine, who was ready to attack if necessary. Mordred seemed a bit uneasy.

"Whoever you are, show yourself!" Arthur ordered.

Nothing happened.

"Maybe it was just an animal." Mordred suggested.

Arthur shook his head. "I just had a feeling –" Someone stepped out of the thicket. Arthur quickly turned around, wielding his sword.

"Whoa, are you insane, you stupid prat!" Merlin just avoided the sword. "That could have been a poor old lady or a child or a bunny or –" He couldn't say anything more, Arthur dropped Excalibur and hugged him.

Merlin smiled and hugged him back. They didn't show their affection very often, but with just Gwaine and Mordred around, Arthur thought it would be fine.

"Merlin! You idiot, why are you creeping around the woods?" Arthur smiled, punching him lightly on the shoulder.

"I could ask you the same, you clotpole." Merlin was out of breath, since he left Morgana he just ran, he needed to get on the way that lead to Ealdor and hope for the best. To his luck, he wasn't too late.

"Well, we were heading to Ealdor." Arthur said.

Of course Merlin already knew that, but still he needed to play along. "Is that so? Why would you do that?" He had to admit, he missed teasing Arthur.

Arthur scratched his cheek. "You know Merlin…I needed to check if you're really helping your mother and not just using her as an excuse for a vacation and….Gwaine really missed you." He added quickly.

Merlin glanced at Gwaine who just chuckled and pointed at Arthur. "Really? _Gwaine _missed me?"

Arthur nodded a bit too eagerly. "Of course he did, Merlin. You are after all his best friend. He was really bored without you."

"Thank you Gwaine, I missed you too." Merlin said, trying to suppress his laughter. He didn't realize until now how much he missed Arthur. Still his heart was heavy. He just left Morgana and he could barley breathe without her. He just hoped she would be fine in Ealdor.

"Come on Merlin, since you're here, let's get you home!" Arthur said cheerful and got back on his horse.

Gwaine reached his hand out. "Need a ride, mate?"

"Thanks." Merlin said. His eyes however lay on Mordred. The boy seemed uneasy, his expression said more than a thousand words ever could. He was angry, angry that his plan failed.

"Good to see you, Mordred." Merlin said with a friendly smile. He couldn't help but enjoy his success.

Mordred smiled back. "Nice to have you back." He didn't know how Merlin did it, how he could know that they were coming, but he was going to find it out. He was absolutely sure that Merlin was no seer, but him just popping up like that couldn't be a coincidence, right?

"So, tell me about your mother." Arthur said as they rode finally back home.

* * *

Morgana was actually nervous seeing Hunith again. She knew what Agravaine did in Ealdor and she was more than sorry. Too many innocent peopled suffered because of her hunger for power and vengeance.

"Aithusa, you should stay here in the woods. It is safer, my love." She said softly. The dragon purred. Morgana got very good in understanding her different sounds over the last couple of years. "Thank you for understanding." She had really no idea how to keep the dragon a secret, but maybe Merlin's mother had an idea. _If she hears you out._

Morgana doubted that one letter from Merlin could actually convince his mother that she was somehow reformed, she did too many cruel things to deserve her trust, but she really wished for it.

"You can do it, Morgana." She took a deep breath, cloaked her face with Merlin's scarf and walked into the village. _The scarf smells like him. _She already missed him. She couldn't believe how deep under her skin that man has gotten.

The villagers looked curiously at her, but no one asked a question. _That is good, they don't suspect anything._

She still remembered Merlin's house after all this years. The way it looked like, how it felt like sleeping there, together with Gwen, fighting with Arthur for what's right, being a good person.

Hunith was outside her little home, hanging out her laundry. _Just like she did in my vision. _Morgana looked around. _But no Arthur, so Merlin met him before. _She felt relieved. Her visions were never very precise, but this time they actually had some luck.

"Hunith?" She said insecure.

The woman looked up. "Can I help you?" she asked confused.

Morgana took another deep breath. "It's me, Morgana." She whispered.

Hunith's eyes widened. "The Lady Morgana?" she almost screamed.

"Psst….please can we talk inside?" Morgana was terrified what would happen if the villagers discovered her. Sure, she was in Essentir, not Camelot, but there was still a chance they would hand her over to Arthur without asking any questions.

Hunith watched the young woman carefully. Especially the scarf she wore caught her attention. _Is that Merlin's scarf? _

"Fine. Let's talk inside." She was curious enough to hear her out, besides if she wanted to hurt her, she could just do it.

Morgana followed Hunith inside.

"What do you want from me, Lady Morgana?" Hunith asked in a strict voice.

Morgana put the scarf aside. "It is just Morgana…" she said feebly. She was no 'Lady' anymore, she gave that life up a long time ago. "I have a letter for you…from Merlin."

Hunith's eyes widened. "So this is his scarf? What have you done to my son? I know what crimes you committed Morgana! I saw what your men did!" she hissed angrily, but not afraid.

Morgana felt like crying again, she knew she deserved hate and mistrust, but that didn't mean it hurt any less. "Please….just read." She handed her the letter.

Hunith stared at it. "I will read it, but I swear if you hurt my son or enchanted him, I will help bring you down."

Morgana just nodded.

Hunith unfolded the letter that was definitely Merlin's handwriting. There was no way magic could fake that right?

She read in silence. Morgana wondered what Merlin exactly decided to tell his mother, he wouldn't say anything about their whirlwind romance, right?

When Hunith finished the letter she said down. "Apparently my son thinks, that you have changed and that you deserve a second chance, however he doesn't explain why." She watched every move Morgana made. "He writes that he saved your life and that you talked a lot and you see some mistakes. He wants me to let you stay here and keep an eye on you."

Morgana's hand were sweaty. She bit her lower lip. She couldn't read Hunith's expression, couldn't guess what the woman would do.

Hunith stood up again and looked deep into Morgana's eyes. "Tell me child, have you manipulated him into writing these words or are they true?"

"I would never manipulate him. It is true, every word." Her voice was shaking.

Hunith nodded. "Your eyes don't look like they would tell lies. I don't trust you Morgana, but if my boy believes in your redemption, I will help him."

Morgana smiled happily. "Thank you, Hunith. Thank you so much."

"I do it for Merlin." Her voice was still hard, but not as indifferent as before. She just wondered what had gotten into Merlin. _He always sees just the good in people._

"I understand." Morgana was just happy she had a place to stay for a while, until Merlin would find another way.

"I will deal with the village, I'll convince them to let you stay. But you will have to help me with my work." Hunith wasn't sure what to tell her people, but they were in general very gullible and nice, maybe they would accept Morgana.

Morgana wasn't used to working on fields or in the house, but she would do anything to repay Merlin's mother for her kindness. "I'll do anything."

"So, explain to me, why does Merlin ask me to watch out for _two _girls?" She raised an eyebrow.

* * *

Gaius watched Merlin eating his favorite soup. He couldn't believe his boy was finally back home. With all the kindness of his heart Arthur decided to give Merlin free for the night and let him and Gaius celebrate their reunion.

So they chatted and laughed, but Gaius couldn't help but feel that something was wrong with Merlin.

"Is there something you're not telling me, boy?" He asked concerned. According to Merlin Hunith was fine again, so that couldn't be it. He still hoped the strange feeling he had was wrong and Merlin didn't get himself into trouble.

Merlin didn't look up. He tried to avoid as much eye-contact as he could. He may could fool the world, but Gaius possessed the uncanny ability to see right through him. "Everything's fine. I'm just tired."

"Where was your scarf again?" Gaius asked. It felt unfamiliar seeing him without it.

"Must have forgotten it." He answered quickly. His thoughts drifted to Morgana, he hoped his mother accepted her and that she was well. He missed her so much, that whenever he closed his eyes, he could only see her face. The beautiful green eyes, the perfect smile, the pale skin. His body yearned for her touch, his soul for her company and his magic for the thrilling feeling he had when it was combined.

"Merlin?" Gaius couldn't read the distant look in his eyes, it was a look he had never seen on him before.

"Yes?" He knew he needed to focus on different things, it was just incredibly hard.

"You should go to bed." Gaius suggested, hoping Merlin would open up to him eventually.

Merlin smiled. "Yeah…I just…I just have to do something first." He stood up and left their chambers.

* * *

Arthur looked outside his window. It was a beautiful night. Gwen was already asleep, but he wasn't tired yet. It had been an eventful day. He finally had Merlin back.

His eyes wandered over the court yard. He spotted Mordred who just made his way back to the knight's chambers. The boy was really becoming a good knight. He learned very fast, was smart and reliable, he didn't regret knighting him.

He wanted to turn around, when suddenly a bizarre scene happened in front of his eyes.

Mordred let himself talk into going to the tavern from Gwaine today and didn't enjoy it a bit. Drinking, smoking and being loud wasn't just something he liked to do.

But against all his beliefs, he didn't mind the other knights much. Gwaine was a good man and Percival noble and quiet, he started to like them, which he really shouldn't. He should hate them and everything they stood for.

It was already late when he made his way back to the knight's chambers, leaving a very drunk Gwaine in Percival's care.

"Nice try today." He immediately turned around.

Merlin stood behind him, leaning against a wall, his arms crossed. "You must be really angry that it didn't work out."

Mordred's whole body tensed. How could Merlin know he tried to set him up? Of course he suspected him of something, but he couldn't know that, no one knew.

"What are you doing here, Merlin? It's late and you had an exhausting journey." He smiled friendly, trying to play it down.

Merlin smirked. Mordred shuddered. There was something different about him, something more confident. He always saw Merlin as a gentle, clumsy and kind of fragile guy, but now he seemed strong and filled with self-confidence and once more he was left wondering what happened to him during his month away.

"Let's just stop pretending for a second." Merlin said. He loosened his arms and walked a few steps towards Mordred. "I know what you're planning to do and you tried to get rid of me."

Mordred clenched his fists and gulped. Then he looked up, his face stony. "Where have you been Merlin? If you want to stop pretending, than how about the truth?"

Merlin chuckled. He couldn't explain his sudden ego boost, but knowing he had Morgana counting on him, he suddenly felt like he could take everyone. He wasn't afraid of Mordred anymore. "I was busy. Changing destiny." He replied sharply.

"You cannot change destiny, Merlin." Mordred sounded amused, he didn't believe him. But deep down, there was this feeling of uncertainty. "I know your destiny, _Emrys. _I know it as you know mine. It is set in stone. We are all just figures in a game of chess and in the end, I'm the one saying 'checkmate'."

"If you say so, Mordred." Merlin walked past him, but stopped briefly. He lay his hand on Mordred's shoulder and smiled friendly. "Just let me get this straight, if you even lay a finger on Arthur, you will wish you'd never sat a foot back into Camelot." He looked like the Merlin Mordred always remembered, a man he didn't fear no matter what people told him, but there was something in his eyes, something dark that actually gave him an uneasy feeling. "We both know, that your little magic tricks can't compare to what I am capable of." Merlin hissed and left Mordred stunned behind.

"_Are you threatening me, Emrys?" _Mordred shouted in his thoughts.

Merlin turned around once more. "Consider it more as some friendly advice."

* * *

Arthur watched the two men talk, obviously he couldn't understand a word. Normally he wouldn't even question Merlin and Mordred chatting about whatsoever, but something seemed wrong about the picture.

As far as he could tell, Merlin smiled like he normally did, but the way he suddenly appeared out of the shadows didn't seem like Merlin at all.

And Mordred seemed extremely tense and uncomfortable.

Was there something going on he didn't know? He almost laughed at himself. Of course there wasn't. This was Merlin, why should he have some kind of quarrel with a knight? Especially when that knight was the little boy they once saved.

* * *

Hunith followed Morgana out of the village into the forest. She wasn't sure if she made the right decision. For all she knew Morgana was an insane sorcerers and could try to murder her any second. But then there was Merlin's letter and something in Morgana's eyes that made her think the woman meant no harm.

"Hunith…." Morgana said calmly as she stopped walking. "Please don't be scared, she is very young and means no harm."

Hunith didn't understand what Morgana was talking about, when suddenly a giant, white beast appeared behind her. "Oh my God….a….a…." she stuttered, unable to move.

The dragon looked curiously at the woman. She lowered her head and started to smell at her.

"Don't be scared, Hunith. This is Aithusa…she is one of the last two dragons of Albion." She gently touched Aithusa's back.

Hunith breathed fast. There was a dragon in front of her. A real, living dragon and obviously her son knew about it.

Aithusa made a birdlike sound and licked Hunith's cheek.

"Iiieeekkk…." Hunith shrieked, causing Aithusa to eye her more curiously.

Morgana giggled. "Be careful, Aithusa." She grabbed Hunith's hand. "You can touch her, she won't bite. She probably gets Merlin's scant from you."

Hunith carefully touched Aithusa. Her skin or dander was surprisingly soft and warm. She was fascinated, she had never seen a creature like that before. She remembered tales Balinor once told her about dragons and their beauty, but actually seeing one was breathtaking.

"Merlin want us to hide her here?" Hunith asked after a while.

Morgana nodded. "She was hurt badly…tortured. She still cannot speak. She needs to be around people she can trust." She smiled lovingly at Aithusa. "She is my best friend, she was there when no one else was and Merlin…it is his duty as a dragonlord to make sure she will survive."

Hunith clenched her teeth together. Merlin briefly told her about what happened to Balinor in one of his letters, but they never really discussed the matter. She knew that he was the next dragonlord in line, but actually hearing it and seeing the dragon was entirely different. It made it more real.

She knew Merlin had a great destiny to fulfill and that he was bound to Arthur with life, but he never gave her any details. She figured he just feared for her safety (and maybe sanity) if she knew.

"Well…" she tried to collect herself. "She is not that easy to hide…but there is this old hatch not far from here, bandits used it to hide their weapons before Cendred had them all slaughtered a few years ago…she can sleep in there. We can bring her food, if she needs it and you can visit her."

Morgana's smile grew wider. "That sounds perfect. Thank you so much."

Hunith looked at the sky. She couldn't believe what Merlin had gotten her into.

* * *

Merlin's first day back at work started relatively boring and free of any special events. Arthur was being his usual charming self, Gwen the voice of reason and Gaius needed his assistance. He didn't see Mordred all morning and he couldn't interpret if that meant something good or bad.

In the early afternoon, Arthur ordered him to clean the stables. Normally Merlin would argue, would tell him he wasn't a stable boy, but today he was happy about it. In the stables he could actually have one moment to himself, one moment to think clearly and to miss her.

He missed everything about her and he wondered if love would always be that hard.

"Thinking about someone special?" Merlin quickly turned around and saw Gwen standing behind him. He blushed. "Of course not."

She giggled. "I was just kidding, Merlin."

He nodded and turned his attention back to his work. "I knew that…" He murmured.

"It is really good you're back home, Arthur missed you very much." Gwen spoke kindly. Her being Queen didn't change her relationship with Merlin. Of course her position was now higher than his, but to her he was still a friend, not a servant. She would never treat him that way.

Merlin smiled briefly at her. He felt incredibly guilty. Arthur missed him. Arthur wanted him back. And what did he do? He lied to him and fell in love with his worst enemy, what a good friend he was.

"You okay, Merlin?" Gwen asked, suddenly looking directly at him. He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't even notice her moving closer.

"Sure, I'm always fine." He knew she wouldn't buy that answer and that she would continue digging until he opened up to her. Normally he would be happy talking to someone, but this situation was so different he couldn't talk to her. Hell, he couldn't even talk to Gaius. "What are you doing here, Gwen?" He quickly changed the topic.

"I just needed some air…"Taking a closer look he noticed she didn't look well. Arthur mentioned something about Gwen possibly being sick when they rode home yesterday.

"Maybe you should see Gaius." He suggested. He couldn't stand seeing Gwen feeling bad.

"I don't need…" she blinked. "I'm fine…" she really didn't look fine at all.

"Gwen?" Merlin grabbed her arm. "Gwen what it is?" He asked in a sudden rush of panic.

"I…I just…I'm a bit…lightheaded…I…" she started to lose consciousness. Merlin tried to keep her away, talked to her but she was too far gone to listen. He just caught her before she could hit the ground.

"Help me! The Queen needs help!" He shouted and lifted her up. He needed to take her to Gaius. Maybe destiny already planned its revenge on him, by using Gwen as a tool.

* * *

Morgana was cleaning Hunith's house. She had not much experience in cleaning, she had always maids and servants to do that for her, even after she went with Morgause. But she didn't mind the work, she actually enjoyed it. It gave her the feeling to do something good.

Hunith watched her carefully. She still wore Merlin's scarf around her shoulders and she couldn't understand why.

What happened between Morgana and her son? Why was he suddenly trusting her again?

She sighed and stepped outside. The sun was shining on her face, she closed her eyes for a moment. She missed Merlin. She understood he couldn't visit her very often or write much, but not seeing him for three years was hard to bear. After all he was all the family she had left.

Hunith always knew Merlin was special and when he told her it was his destiny to be at Arthur's side she respected that and encouraged him to follow his path. She never asked questions, knowing that she probably didn't want to know the answers. But now, with Morgana back into the picture and Merlin obviously keeping her a secret from Arthur, she would give a lot for some clear answers.

* * *

Arthur was walking up and down, his hands were shaking. He stood outside of Gaius chambers, Merlin next to him.

"I knew she was sick…I told her she should see Gaius, she wouldn't listen to me!" Arthur was completely beside himself. He couldn't lose Gwen, he just couldn't. "If something happens to her, I'm not sure I can survive." He said and sat down next to Merlin.

"I'm sure she'll be fine." Merlin said, offering him a sympathetic smile. But truth to be told, Merlin wasn't so sure. Under different circumstances he would have guessed that Gwen might caught a flu or a harmless virus, but since Gwen has always been a part of their destiny, he feared that she would be the first to pay for his ignorance.

He knew that what he and Morgana did would be punished sooner or later, but he never meant for Gwen or Arthur to get hurt, even if that was probably wishful thinking.

"Do you think she has been enchanted?" Arthur asked.

Merlin tried to resist his urge to roll his eyes. He knew Arthur was more tolerant to magic already, but questions like these always reminded him of Uther. "Yes, enchanted with the flu." He joked. He needed cheer him up a bit.

But Arthur didn't feel like smiling, so they sat just there in silence.

After what felt like an eternity to both of them, Gaius opened the door. "Sire, she wants to see you." He just said and gave Merlin a small smile.

* * *

Gwen was lying on Gaius bad, she was exhausted and looked pale. Arthur rushed to her side, the door closed behind him. Gaius and Merlin wanted to give them some privacy.

He sat down at her bedside. "Hey." He whispered softly.

She smiled. "Hey."

He kissed her forehead. "You scared me today, Guinevere." His voice sounded broken.

"I'm so sorry, I should have listened to you…" she apologized.

"Don't be sorry it is not your fault." He didn't blame her. When it came to stubbornness, they were one and the same. "Gaius won't tell me what's wrong…" He searched for her eyes, searched for an answer. He was prepared for the worst, but his surprise she didn't look sad or scared at all.

She gently touched his cheek, her eyes were wet, but it didn't look like sad tears. "Arthur, something wonderful is happening…" she paused for a moment, he looked more confused than ever. She was scared at first, but Gaius encouraged her to tell him right away. "I'm with a child." He barley whispered.

Arthur's eyes widened. He was processing her words, but he believed he understood the wrong thing. "Excuse me…what?"

She sat up and leaned her forehead against his. "I'm pregnant, love."

He started at her, his heart was pounding in his chest. _Pregnant. Child. Father._

"We're having a baby…" he whispered in astonishment.

Gwen laughed and nodded. "Yes…yes we are."

Arthur pulled her into his arms. "A baby…" he whispered. He knew people expected an heir for the throne, he and Guinevere were married for three years now, but actually hearing the news sounded more like a dream. He thought they would have children one day, but he never believed that day would come so early. Was he ready? Were they ready? So many questions, so many things were going on inside his head.

"You are happy, right?" Guinevere asked.

He hesitated for a moment, still in some kind of a shock, but then he smiled. "I am…I am happy and I love you so much." He kissed her passionately and when they pulled away, he carefully places his hand on her stomach. _A baby._

* * *

Merlin and Gaius sat outside, the sun was already setting. As quietly the day has started, the outcome was something differently.

"I can't believe it…Gwen is pregnant." Merlin was genuinely happy for his friends. They deserved it, even if the thought of Arthur being a parent was slightly scary.

Gaius smiled proudly. He knew Arthur for all his life, was there when the boy was born and now, now he would be there when his child would be born. "It is always a little miracle, the creation of life."

Merlin smiled.

"Gwen and Arthur will be good parents and Camelot finally has an heir to the throne." Gaius continued and stood slowly up.

Merlin suddenly stopped short. He was so surprised and happy that he didn't realized something was incredibly wrong.

"I'll make us some dinner Merlin, I was thinking about something bigger today, it's a time for celebration." He patted his back.

Merlin just stared straightforward. In all the visions he had seen, all the people he spoke to and all the lore that told about his and Arthur's destiny, there was never the mentioning of a child. If Mordred would kill Arthur it would lead to Camelot's downfall, which could only mean that there was no heir to rebuild it once again.

"Oh no…" Merlin whispered. Destiny really had changed drastically and he had no idea what it meant.


	4. The Distance Between Us

**AN:**** I know, I know I'm horrible for not updating ****like forever...hope you will ever forgive me. But life came into the way and inspiration...or rather the lack of it. Oh and a probably PTSD after the series finale. I'm still crying guys.**

**So, I hope you will forgive me and enjoy this chapter.**

**Please leave some comments :)**

* * *

_**Part 4: The Distance Between us**_

It was already in the middle of the night and Merlin was tired. The day wore him out. His head was aching to process all the new developments that had happened during the last twenty four hours and his heart was yearning for the one that was so far away.

He sighed. He wanted nothing more than to go to bed and sleep over it all, but he couldn't. He was standing on a small clearing near Camelot and waited, how long, he had no idea.

The cold wind was dancing around him and he stared into the sky. "Bloody dragon." He murmured, hoping his giant dragon friend would soon show up.

It was untypical for Kilgharrah to take so long, but Merlin figured the dragon might be angry after their last encounter. In a way he chose Morgana over his destiny and therefore he chose her over him.

He closed his eyes for a moment and was yet again lost in his thoughts. It had been merely two days and he already missed Morgana like hell. He needed a way to communicate with her or he was sure he would lose his mind sooner or later.

"Merlin, you summoned me." Merlin opened his eyes; there was the dragon right in front of him. He sighed again; his mind was so full of Morgana he didn't even hear him coming.

"I need to ask you something." He said quickly. "Gwen is pregnant." He studied the dragon's face and hoped to see his typical 'know-it-all' look in his eyes, but there was nothing. Not the usual spark he had when Merlin told him something he already knew, not the wise-cracking growl he always made, there was nothing but shock and surprise.

"So it begins." Kilgharrah said all mysterious and for once in his life Merlin wished the dragon would speak like any normal person. "The course of destiny has changed already." He looked at the few stars that were sparkling on the dark night sky. "Do you have any idea what your…indiscretion with the witch has caused? I cannot read the stars anymore, Merlin. I cannot predict the future anymore."

Merlin went through his air and tried to stay calm. He knew that was his fault. He was aware of the consequences the moment he started to help Morgana, but he didn't care. His heart chose to ignore any warn signs for once.

"But a baby…an heir to the throne that is something good." He said in a desperate attempt to see something positive in his actions.

The dragon panted. "Merlin, I am not saying that a child is something bad. Indeed it is something wonderful, but you have to understand, that this child was never meant to live. That is a whole new life; you cannot change the course of destiny any further."

Merlin stayed silent and looked away. Of course he was aware of that. In a few months there would be a new human life, a life that should have never existed.

"Merlin, just because one positive thing happened, doesn't mean that everything will turn out for the better." The dragon continued. "Morgana's allegiance with Mordred is broken, but can you predict what the boy will do now? Maybe his new allegiance will be even worse."

That was a thought Merlin had as well. He didn't fear Mordred, he knew that the boy's magic couldn't compete to his own and now it was him to have Morgana on his side, but he wouldn't do the mistake to underestimate the boy. He was clever and unpredictable.

"Only time will tell…." He almost whispered. "Tell me just this one thing…do you believe we can make our own destiny?"

Merlin didn't expect the dragon to answer or at least not to answer clearly, he never did.

"I am old Merlin." The dragon answered. _Not exactly what I wanted to know. _

"I dreamt for years about the future Arthur will bring, the future you will bring and now everything is unclear and the stars don't answer me anymore." His voice sounded so heavy and for the first time since Merlin met Kilgharrah he could actually hear his age and the long years he lived on this earth. "I would not dare to challenge destiny and you Merlin should not do it either."

Merlin chuckled. He didn't expect anything else; after all he was destiny's tool.

"But –" the dragon said suddenly and searched for the young warlock's eyes, "You are also and most of all my friend Merlin and even if I will never trust the witch, you do deserve to be happy."

Merlin was shocked, more than shocked. Kilgharrah wished for his happiness? The Kilgharrah who lectured him since day one? _I didn't change destiny, I changed everything._

* * *

He wanted to reply something, _anything, _but he couldn't because the dragon disappeared as fast as he had come.

Merlin lay on his stomach and snored into his pillow. He didn't know when he fell asleep, but he was glad he was able to dream. Because in his dreams he could meet her, talk to her, kiss her, love her.

"Merlin…" a voice said. He ignored it. Now was not the time to get up.

"Merlin…." The voice hissed again, louder this time.

"Not now…" Merlin murmured and buried his head deep under his pillow.

"You idiot, get up!" Someone kicked him into the side. With a growl Merlin got up and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. It was still dark outside.

"Finally!" Arthur stood next to his bed, arms crossed.

Merlin was confused, why was it dark? Why was Arthur there? "Oh my God, did I oversleep again? Is it night already? I'm so sorry Arthur, I –"

"Shut up!" Arthur said. "You gonna wake Gaius, you idiot." He sat down on Merlin's bedside like it was the most normal thing in the world for the king to be in his servant's room.

"It is just before sunrise." He said calmly.

Merlin's eyes widened. He seriously hoped that clotpole had a good reason to wake him up in the middle of the night. "Don't tell me you want to go hunting…because you can forget that." He fell down on his back, not caring at all that Arthur was still sitting next to him. "Go and wake up Gwaine or Elyan."

"Merlin, I am your king and I say GET UP!" He grabbed Merlin's ears and pulled him up.

"Ouch! Are you insane you prat?" He snapped.

Arthur smiled triumphantly. "I really need your help, Merlin." His voice and face turned serious.

Merlin immediately noticed that something was wrong. That wasn't Arthur's 'I'm so full of myself do what I want face' no that was his 'I need you as my friend face'.

"What happened?" Merlin asked concerned.

Arthur bit his lip and looked away for a moment. "It is Guinevere…and the baby."

"Is something wrong? Is she hurt? We should wake Gaius –" Merlin panicked, but Arthur covered his mouth with his hand.

"Shh. No, she is fine, soundlessly asleep and as happy as one can be." A small smile covered his lips. "I'm just…you know just a bit…that thing what people feel when something big is happening and they don't know how to deal with it."

Merlin needed all his willpower to not burst into hysterical laughter. Arthur could be such an idiot. "So, you are nervous." He stated causally.

Arthur laughed and clapped Merlin's back. "Don't be ridiculous, Merlin. I am the king, I don't get nervous. I am just a bit….nervous." He swallowed the last word and hoped Merlin didn't hear it.

Merlin shrugged, grinning. "If you say so." He watched Arthur quietly. There is was the mighty king of Camelot, freaking out about a baby and he couldn't even admit it to himself.

The baby was not supposed to exist, but Merlin was glad it did. Arthur may didn't know it, but Merlin was sure he would make a good father.

"I loved my father." Arthur said suddenly with a touch of sadness in his voice. "But he made so many mistakes. He always treated me more like a prince than a son. I'm still getting used to be a king, to have the responsibility for a whole kingdom, but this is different. This more personal, what if I'm not a good father? What if the child…doesn't like me?"

Merlin smiled warmly. "You are a prat and a dollophead. You are immature and too full of yourself and most of the time you –"

"Merlin…" Arthur interrupted him. "Not helping."

"Right." Merlin laughed. "But you are a great king and you will be a great father. You care so much for other people and you will love the child so much. And don't forget you still act like one as well, so the baby will think you maybe –"

He was interrupted again by Arthur's fist on his head. "Ouch…"

"Thank you, Merlin." He said then and lay his hand on his friend's shoulder. "I'm glad I can always count on you and if I'm sure of one thing, then that the child can count on you as well."

They both looked out of the window. "Sun is rising." Merlin said.

Arthur smiled. "A whole new day."

The sat together in silence. Merlin wished it could always be this way, the two of them as best friends, but he knew it would eventually come to an end. He lied to Arthur, betrayed him. He fell in love with his sworn enemy and there was no turning back.

He had all the power in the world, but there was no magical solution to fix the mess he had done.

* * *

"I have some new dresses for you." Hunith said and lay them down on Morgana's bed. "They are not quite as fancy as those you are used to, but winter is coming and I don't want you to get sick." He voice was strict, but yet very motherly.

Morgana smiled. "They are perfect Hunith, thank you."

She liked living with Merlin's mother. She knew Hunith was far away from trusting her, but she accepted her and didn't ask any questions. Life in Ealdor was simple and full of hard work, but Morgana didn't mind.

She actually enjoyed working, it felt like she was making atonement for her previous sins. For the first time years she felt like she had a home. Hunith gave Merlin's old room to her, gave her clothes and food and she could spent time with Aithusa whenever she wanted to.

The only thing that was missing in her new life was Merlin. She wished she could see him, wished she could touch him, but it was impossible. Her even being in Ealdor put him into a risk, so there were no letters or form of communication between them.

Somehow Morgana began to understand what people meant when they said that absence only made their feeling stronger.

She caught herself more than once watching young families in Ealdor and wondering what could be. She wondered if she and Merlin could ever have a normal life together. Living together, getting married and start a family.

The thought made her happy and sad at the same time. It was something that kept her going and slowly destroyed all the same. They were not normal people and things were complicated.

At nights she hoped to dream about him, but her nightmares kept him away from her. Whenever she closed her eyes, she was back in the dark tower, alone and afraid and haunted by the voices of her loved ones.

She couldn't sleep one night without it and Hunith started to worry for her health and sanity, how much she wished for Merlin to visit and take away those horrible dreams from the young woman.

No matter what Morgana did, when she first told Hunith about the nightmares, she got scared and decided those dream were something she wouldn't wish on her worst enemy.

* * *

When Merlin's duty for the day was done, he was still restless. He knew he needed his strength and that involved getting enough sleep, but it was impossible for him to calm down without knowing Morgana was fine.

So he sneaked out into the library when Gaius was on a late night visit to a patient.

If he couldn't talk to her, he could at least do a little research on her nightmares. He was sure the nightmares were continuing and even surer that whatever happened when she first vanished, Morgause did something horrible to her. Even with their new situation, he still blamed himself for most her misery and he promised himself he wouldn't stop until he found a way to fix her.

He quietly opened the library door and much to his luck Geoffrey was already gone, so he had all the books to himself without answering any weird questions.

"Let's get started…" He said to himself and clapped his hands.

* * *

Mordred felt like an animal in a cage. He should be lucky that Merlin wasn't out in the world doing God knows what anymore and that he could keep an eye on him, but he wasn't.

Merlin's threat from two nights before was still lingering above him and he just couldn't shake it off. He had the feeling the warlock's eyes were everywhere and that he was watching every step he was taking.

He couldn't sneak out to meet his allies anymore without risking Merlin following him. He never saw him as a believable threat, but that changed. Merlin changed and he would give a lot to know what caused that change.

Just before Merlin returned home there was a huge among of magic in the air, something that seemed to shake even the stars and ever since then, Mordred had a feeling nothing was the same and that whatever it was Merlin had caused it.

How he wished he could just sell him out to Arthur, but the king would never believe him or worse he wouldn't mind and Merlin would share all his secrets with him, including Mordred's true nature and his plan to bring Arthur down.

No, Mordred needed something else to get rid of Merlin, something Arthur would never understand or let alone forgive.

* * *

Guinevere looked outside of her window and smiled to herself. Camelot was so calm and peaceful and she hoped it would always stay that way.

Of course she knew it was an idealistic dream that would never come true. Not as long as they had dangerous enemies like Morgana, her former mistress and best friend.

She rested her hands on her stomach and sighed sadly. In another life Morgana would now stand by her side, she would assure her that the baby would be fine, she would be happy for her and be a proud aunt.

But that Morgana was long gone and Gwen gave up on the hope to get her back a long time ago.

Still, there was a part in her that still wondered what would have been if Morgana had never left.

Would she and Arthur act like true siblings? Would magic be allowed because of her? Would she and Merlin…Gwen shook her head. She couldn't think about that.

Her hands were moving over her stomach, stroking the life inside carefully.

It was almost ridiculous to think about it now, after everything that had happened. But once upon a time she suspected that there was something going on between Merlin and Morgana, even though neither of them ever confirmed it.

"What are you thinking about?" Arthur appeared behind his wife and gently put his arms around her. She leaned back, enjoying the closeness.

"I'm just truly happy." She took one of his hands and placed it over her own on her stomach. "Us and the little one inside here…we are a family."

Arthur softly kissed her head. He was still freaked out about the pregnancy, but knowing that Merlin would be there for him helped a lot.

"Yes. A family." He repeated. It felt good knowing he still had a family. After Morgana betrayed them and his father died he felt truly lost. But he was never really alone. There was always Guinevere and there was Merlin and Gaius and his knights. And now there was another person that would make his life better.

His thoughts fleshed to Merlin for a second. His servant, his friend was always there for him and yet Arthur wondered what else was there for Merlin. Had he ever been in love? Did he think about starting a family one day? He sure hoped so, because if one person deserved happiness in this world it was Merlin.

* * *

Merlin's eyes were tiered and the candle next to him was almost burned out. He still hadn't found a thing and it frustrated him.

He looked through it all. From books about druids to urban legends and fairytales, there wasn't anything about a dark tower that could manipulate people.

_Maybe it was just a story Uther made up after all. _He thought.

He shook his head and grabbed the next book. _No, what she described was real. _

Weeks passed, days were colder and her nightmares were getting worse. It felt like her mind was desperately trying to get her to remember something but there was a blockade that made it impossible.

Without Merlin there to calm her down she felt like she was slowly breaking apart from the inside.

"Morgana?" Hunith said one cold morning. "Sit down child, we need to talk."

Morgana gulped, she was afraid Hunith finally had enough of her and decided to send her away.

Hunith grabbed the young woman's hand. "Child, I'm worried about you."

That surprised Morgana. "Why?" she asked, even though she could imagine it. Hunith had to wake her up from the nightmare more than once because she was screaming her lungs out.

"These nightmares, they are getting worse, right?" She asked.

Morgana nodded slowly. "I wish I knew what they mean…Merlin had a few theories, but…I don't know."

The mentioning of her son's name made Hunith flinch a bit. She hadn't heard from him since he sent Morgana to live with her and she still had no idea what their relationship exactly was, even if she had her suspicious.

She caught Morgana more than once pressing her son's blue scarf close to her head and looking like she was far away from reality.

Hunith bit her lip. "Maybe we should contact him." She suggested. Her son was powerful, even though she had no idea how powerful he really was, she was sure that if someone could help Morgana, it was him.

Morgana's face went white. She shook her head. "No…no…that is not possible. If Arthur would find out he would have his head…he can't…I don't want him to risk anymore for me."

"Morgana, calm down." Hunith softly lay her hands on Morgana's shoulders. She didn't expect her to react this way. She more or less thought she would be happy to see Merlin again.

"Merlin did so much already." Morgana almost whispered. "He saved me…." And she didn't mean her stab wound all those months ago. A few tears were falling down her cheeks. She missed him, she couldn't even find the right words to express how much she missed him.

Hunith pulled her into a deep hug. She knew what Morgana was capable off, knew what she did in the past, but this woman was so lost, so fragile she couldn't help but care for her.

"Morgana…" there was still the one thing she needed to know. It was her motherly instinct to look out for her son. "What is your relationship with my son?"

Morgana slowly pulled away and looked Hunith into the eyes. She knew that question would come sooner or later, she just hoped for later.

"I love him." She said sincere. There was no denying it anymore. No distance, no nightmare, no Arthur, no Mordred could change that. She, Morgana Pendragon was in love with Merlin and she didn't know if she would ever get the chance to tell him so.

Hunith wasn't surprised, she expected that for a while, but hearing it was something different. She grew fond of Morgana, but she wasn't sure if she wanted her to be with her son. There was still that mistrust deep inside her and the fact that the king wanted her head and loving her would put Merlin in an impossible dangerous situation.

"Does he feel the same?" she asked.

Morgana blushed and looked away. She didn't want to share all the details of her relationship with Hunith. After all she was still his mother.

"I don't know." She answered. It wasn't a lie. Merlin never directly told her what he felt for her.

Hunith eyes her suspiciously before she stood up.

"I'll make us some soup." She said and Morgana stared after her, irritated.

* * *

Merlin was exhausted, if that was even enough to describe what he was feeling.

He suspected he only functioned because his body was basically filled with magic. He thought any normal human being would have collapsed already.

He spent his days doing chores for Arthur, listening to his friends worrying, helping Gaius and being there for Gwen. Ah, and of course he never left Mordred out of his sight.

And he spent his nights researching the mysterious dark tower. And of course missing Morgana, but that was more or less an every second of the day task.

So it was no wonder that Gaius started to worry about him. Actually he started to _really _worry about him.

Merlin looked horrible. His eyes were covered by dark circles, his skin was pale as winter's snow and his usual happy-go-lucky smile was tired and insincere.

"Merlin…" Gaius started one night when Merlin almost fell asleep on the dinner table. "Talk to me my boy."

Merlin looked immediately away. It was always a matter of time until Gaius would suspect of something being wrong, but how could he get himself out of this situation?

"I'm fine, Gaius." He lied and the worst part was, the lie was so obvious there was no way in hell Gaius would believe him.

Gaius nodded. "Alright. And now stop lying."

Merlin groaned. He needed a better lie, something Gaius would believe, because he couldn't tell him about Morgana, couldn't tell him his heart broke every day he couldn't be with her, couldn't see her smile or feel her lips on his.

"It is just…Arthur is really nervous since he knows Gwen is pregnant and Gwen confuses me for her best girlfriend or something like that and Gwaine always urges me to go on women hunt with him and I'm just tired that is all." He forced a smile and hoped Gaius was satisfied with his answer. "Of course there is also Mordred to worry about." He added quickly.

Gaius eyed the young man suspiciously. Merlin's reasons were all very valid and believable, but still Gaius knew him far too long to believe that this was it all.

"What about your nights? You sneak out every night." So Gaius noticed. Merlin shouldn't be surprised by that.

"I'll watch Mordred." He said with a touch of insecurity in his voice. But still, it was believable.

Gaius raised his eyebrow. "You are lying, Merlin." He said in a matter of fact kind of voice. "And I wonder why, because you have always been honest with me."

Merlin felt horrible. Gaius was his most trusted friend for years, his mentor, his _father _and now he was betraying him. But could he trust Gaius with his most dangerous secret? A part of him wanted to tell him everything, was sick of lying and even hoped Gaius would help him to help her. But telling him would also put her at risk, so what should he do?

His head was aching again. Life wasn't fair to put him into situations like that. "Gaius, I'm sorry." He said and stood up.

But Gaius wouldn't give up, not this time. Merlin pushed him away over the last months and he wouldn't bare it any longer. He grabbed his arm and pushed him back on his chair.

"Tell me now, Merlin and no more lies. We both know this started when you were visiting Ealdor. What happened there?" He asked.

There it was the explicit question to 'what happened back then' the one he couldn't avoid anymore. It was now or never. He could lie himself out of it, disappoint Gaius even more or he would take a leap and risk it all.

His mind drifted to Morgana once again. Gaius had a lot of book the library didn't have, he had knowledge he could only dream about and he could help her better than he could.

So he took a deep breath and decided it was time to tell the truth.

"I wasn't in Ealdor." He said as calmly as possible and then waited for Gaius reaction.

Gaius nodded. "I suspected that much." After all Gaius was no fool. "It would have been very unusual for Hunith not to contact me in case of a serious sickness."

Merlin was slightly relieved Gaius voice didn't sound angry. The first step was done. The only thing left was the hardest part.

"I had a dream that night…about Morgana and I went to investigate…" It sounded harmless enough, right?

Gaius eyes grew wider. "Don't tell me you were hunting Morgana all this time you were gone on your on?" Again no anger in his voice, only fear and worries.

Merlin shook his head. "Actually, I found her. She was wounded…"

Now Gaius looked seriously shocked and Merlin was afraid to talk anymore. "What happened then?" Gaius ask, his voice suddenly shaky.

Now was no going back anymore. "I helped her…stayed with her…" Merlin hoped he wasn't blushing, but remembering his extraordinary time with Morgana always did that to him.

"Boy…are you out of your mind? You helped her? Merlin, she is dangerous, insane even!" Gaius threw his hands around.

It was the reaction Merlin expected and still he didn't like him talking like that about her. "That is what I thought…but something is wrong with her. She has this nightmares and I believe Morgause did something horrible to her when she abducted her the first time! I want to help her, she is almost like the Morgana we always knew and there is his dark tower and I really think –"

"Merlin, you should listen to yourself!" Gaius interrupted him, raising his voice. "This is Morgana we are talking about! Don't try to justify her actions that is only what she wants, Merlin. She manipulates your or worse you are enchanted again!"

Merlin shook his head, a desperate laugh escaped his lips. "I think she is herself for the first time in years!" He argued back. "And I need to help her, need to fix her."

Gaius couldn't believe his words, he didn't understand where Merlin was coming from. "Boy, I know you blame yourself for what happened to her, but you cannot fix her. She tries to get into your head that is all."

"She is not!" Merlin snapped. "You don't understand, Gaius. Just listen to me!"

Gaius stood up. "No Merlin, you listen to me! Morgana is lost to the dark path, she is the enemy it is your destiny to –"

"Not that again!" Merlin stood up as well, he was getting angry. The lights around him started to flicker, he needed to control his magic better. He didn't know what he expected but he hoped Gaius would at least try to understand. "I don't care for destiny anymore!"

"Merlin, you have to –"

"I love her!" she shouted, without thinking about it.

Gaius fell back in his chair, he suddenly felt dizzy. "Tell me that is not true." He looked at Merlin in desperation. He could understand Merlin being too kind and helpful for his own good, but _in love with her? _He hoped it was a bad joke or some magic spell. But the determination it Merlin's eyes spoke for itself.

"I love her, I can't help it or no, I don't want to help it." Merlin couldn't stop talking. "I love her with all I got, even my magic is calling to hers. And you can say she bewitched me all you want, it is not true. I always knew, it has always been her, back then and now…it _has always been her!_"

"She is a murderer, Merlin. She threatened and killed people in cold blood." Was arguing even an option anymore? When it came to love, every logic failed and Gaius knew that. But how could Merlin of all people fall in love with Morgana? They were destined to be mortal enemies, there was no other option.

Merlin clenched his fists and laughed bitterly. "So have I."

"That is not the same." Gaius said.

"I really hoped you would understand or try to, but you should have tea with Kilgharrah, you would get along so well." Merlin was disappointed, sad and angry at the same time. He stormed outside, he needed to get away from Gaius.

* * *

Merlin sat down on the cold stone castle wall and stared straightforward. Snow was falling down on him but he didn't care.

If Gaius wouldn't understand, there was no way Arthur would ever get there. It was a hopeless situation.

He couldn't have both, his life in Camelot and the woman he loved. He had to make a decision. The realization hit him, he would lose no matter what he chose.

Either he would lose his best friend, his family and home or he would lose the one person that completed him. How can one man make a choice like that?

"Merlin?" His head turned around. Arthur was walking towards him. "What are you doing here, it's freezing."

"I…just needed some air." He answered, hoping Arthur would be too much of a clotpole to understand that something was wrong.

"Get inside, idiot. A sick servant is not a good servant." Nevertheless he sat down next to him. "You want to talk about it?" he asked.

Merlin shrugged. "I had a fight with Gaius." He didn't need to tell him the details.

That surprised Arthur, in all the years Merlin has been living with the physician, Arthur couldn't recall one time they were fighting. He was about to ask Merlin why they were fighting, but the look in his eyes almost pleaded for no more questions.

"You can sleep in one of the knight's chambers if you like." He said, proud that he was sensitive enough for once just to be a good friend.

Merlin shot him a small smile. "I'd like that, thank you."

Arthur stood up, reaching his hand out and pulled Merlin up. "You should talk to Gaius tomorrow, I bet whatever it is you will get over it."

"Sure." Merlin replied, knowing all to perfectly that this time there maybe was no way around it.

* * *

Gaius still sat on the same chair at the table and watched the flame of the candle in front of him slowly burning down.

Merlin was the closest thing to a son he ever had, the boy was his family and he let him down. He was too shocked to even consider trusting Merlin's judgment and feelings, but how could he? That was Morgana they were talking about.

And Merlin loved her. His boy, his Merlin loved that woman. A small smile formed on his lips. His boy was in love. If the situation had been different he would have been proud, Merlin deserved happiness and someone he could share his life with. Big destiny or not.

But this love, this love was forbidden and against everything he believed in. They weren't supposed to be lovers, they were supposed to fight each other to the death.

Gaius started to wonder where Morgana was now and if she felt the same, because that would change everything. It would change the whole course of destiny and Gaius wasn't sure if the change would be for the better or the worse.

"A dark tower…" He mumbled. Merlin mentioned a dark tower earlier and that he thought Morgana had been manipulated all along. "Could it be?" He stood up and walked to his old book shelf. He pulled a book with a red cover outside and opened it carefully.

It was dusty and his eyes started to get wet, but he needed to know the truth. He read about a dark tower once, but believed it to be just a scary story to scare children off, now he wasn't so sure.

"It is going to be a long night."

* * *

Sleeping in the knight's chambers was one of the worst experiences in his whole life. Much to his luck he could sleep in Gwaine's and Percival's chamber and it was horrible.

They snored. No, snoring wasn't the right word. The noises they made were beyond everything he ever heard.

So in the morning he was actually glad he could just go to work. He decided not to look for Gaius, he still wasn't sure if he even wanted to talk to him.

When he entered the king's chamber he was surprised to see Arthur already up and dressed "Sire? Am I late?"

Arthur laughed. "I just wanted to show you I can dress myself."

Merlin rolled his eyes. "Right…because that is so difficult."

"I talked to Gaius, just before you came in." He announced. Merlin thought he would pass out. He was glad Arthur cared about him as a friend, but talking to Gaius was the last thing he wanted him to do.

"That was not necessary." He tried to sound as friendly as possible.

Arthur shot him a brilliant smile. "Don't worry, Gaius came to me."

That however surprised Merlin. "He did? Why?"

Arthur crossed his arms. "He asked me to give you a few days off. He needs to take care of a sick cousin or something who lives outside Camelot and needs you with him." He stretched his arms. "I'm not happy about that, you seem to take more vacations lately, you lazy idiot." He walked towards Merlin and clapped his back. "But maybe it helps you to sort things out, so go and pack a bag or whatever you need to do."

* * *

Merlin ran outside the castle and immediately to his and Gaius little home. He opened the door and saw Gaius already packed up.

"There you are." The old man said, smiling like the previous night never happened.

"What is going on?" Merlin asked confused. Gaius handed him an old red book he didn't recognize.

"I don't know where you are hiding her, but we should leave immediately. I can't promise you that we can cure her, but we can ease whatever this tower did to her." He talked slowly, but Merlin didn't understand the words.

"What are you talking about, Gaius?" It couldn't mean what he was thinking it meant right?

Gaius sighed. "I always trusted you Merlin and even if I don't like it I will trust you now." He took the book from Merlin's hands. "This place, this dark tower you were talking about, it is real."

Merlin gasped.

"We will probably destroy Camelot's future and burn in hell for this, but if you truly love Morgana, we have to help her." Gaius knew this idea was horrible and that it would only end in tears and betrayal in the end, but he couldn't let Merlin down, not after everything he already sacrificed for his destiny.

Merlin pulled Gaius into a deep hug. He couldn't believe it. "Thank you." He whispered.

"Where are we going, boy?" He asked as they pulled away.

"Ealdor." Merlin answered. "We're going to Ealdor." He couldn't help but smiling, he would see her again, finally.


	5. There Is Magic In The Air

**AN: ****New chapter, guys. Thank you so muc****h for all your lovely reviews, favs and alerts, I really can't thank you enough for the great support. So, two things about this chapter. I try to make up for the lack of Mergana in the last one and there is one scene, we can call it M- where I tried to make things a bit more...juicy...but since I'm not so good in scenes like this I won't go full lemon, please don't be too hard on me with that scene. Second, I try to make Arthur a bit smarter and less oblivious when it comes to Mordred, it always bothered me how easily he trusted him.**

**Please leave some comments :)**

* * *

_**Part 5: There Is Magic In The Air**_

It was snowing in Ealdor and as far as she could tell, Hunith expected a heavy winter to fall down on them.

She really hoped she could take care for her and Morgana over the cold months. It was hard enough to feed her, but now the young woman needed her as well. It felt like having a child all over again, well if that child was a grown up, beautiful woman in love with her son.

She was lost in thoughts as she tried to clean the way in front of her house. The snow was falling so fast, it was almost impossible to rid the streets of it now.

Morgana was inside, cooking a meal for them. She had no idea about cooking when she first arrived in the small village, but Hunith was proud to call her a very hardworking student.

She was humming a happy song, when a young boy who lived next to her ran along the way, gesturing wild with his arms and yelling 'Horses! I've seen horses! We have visitors!'

Hunith wasn't very excited, visitors mostly meant trouble and she wasn't very fond of that, especially in the winter months.

But as soon as she saw who the visitors were, her mind changed. There was Gaius on one of the horses, smiling happily at her, but she could tell the old man was exhausted. Behind him was Merlin, a cheeky grin on his face.

"Merlin!" she exclaimed and threw her broom away.

The boy jumped from his horse and pulled his mother into a deep hug. "I missed you, mother." He whispered into her ear.

She couldn't believe her boy was finally back home. Most of the days she was fine, but each time she saw him again, she realized how much she truly missed him.

"I didn't know you were coming." She pulled him softly away and stroked his cheeks. "You look far too boney, young man. Don't they feed you enough in Camelot?" she raised an eyebrow and looked over Merlin's shoulder. Gaius was getting down from his horse and coughed.

"You promised me to take good care of him, Gaius." She said half serious.

Gaius hugged her. "Good to see you too, dear."

"Hunith? Is everything alright? I heard voices." Morgana walked outside their little hut, Merlin's blue scarf around her shoulders.

The moment she saw him, time stopped. "Merlin?"

Their eyes met and the world around them disappeared. Hunith and Gaius no longer existed. There was only them.

"Morgana!" Merlin ran towards her, not caring who saw them and what people were going to think.

She lifted her arms, welcoming him. He pulled her into a deep hug, lifted her up and twirled her around. She laughed until she could no longer breathe.

"Merlin, I'm getting dizzy." She said between giggles.

He put her down and before she could say anything his lips were on hers.

He kissed her hard and passionate. How long did he wait for that? The need he had for her was almost unbearable and if it were up to him he would stop breathing and would start living by just kissing her.

She put everything she had into the kiss. Feeling him again was almost too good to be true. She was about to give up hope to ever even see him again and there he was. Her Merlin, back in her arms once more and telling by his reaction he missed her just as much.

Gaius and Hunith watched the whole scene from afar, both were aware of the feelings those two had for each other, but they still felt uncomfortable to watch it.

Hunith, because even if she had grown fond of Morgana a part of her still saw the dangerous witch she was and was afraid for her son and his safety.

Gaius, because up to this moment still had a spark of hope that Merlin was joking and not actually in love with Morgana. But this kiss, this passion proved him wrong. He could almost touch the magical energy surrounding them.

Merlin and Morgana didn't know how long they were kissing, they didn't care either. This was their moment and when they finally pulled away to get some air, their lips crashed together almost immediately again.

* * *

Arthur said alone in his court room and literary stared into space. He was the king and he had nothing to do.

"Are you in your Merlin-is-gone depression again, Princess?" Gwaine entered the room, looking more than amused.

Arthur rolled his eyes. It couldn't have been Elyan or Leon or even Mordred, no it had to be Gwaine. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

Gwaine sat down next to him and chuckled. "Of course not, milady."

If one of the other knights would speak to him like that Arthur would probably throw him into the dungeon for a few days to learn to respect the king, but not Gwaine, no Gwaine was the exception, just like Merlin was.

The knights closest to him were his friends, as far as a king could address knights as friends of course. Elyan was his brother-in-law, Percival more loyal than a whole kingdom could be and Leon the one who has been with him for all his life, but still he was their king and they were his knights.

Gwaine, not so much. Like Merlin he came into his life unexpected and changed it forever. He would never see Gwaine like a normal knight; he would always see him as an equal, a comrade and a true friend.

So it didn't matter if Gwaine made fun of him, he wouldn't want it any other way.

"You know, if I wouldn't know it better…" Gwaine said deeply in thoughts, "I would almost believe our boy has a secret girlfriend."

Arthur raised his eyebrows. "We're talking about Merlin that is ridiculous. Who would want to be with an idiot like him?" That was the prat talking of course. He knew Gwaine would understand the message behind it. If Merlin had a girl he liked, Arthur would know.

Gwaine shrugged. "Maybe he is too shy to tell anyone."

"Maybe…" Arthur thought about the possibility for a split second before he decided it was impossible, Merlin wouldn't hide something big like that from him.

"It is still a miracle you got a girl like Gwen, maybe Merlin got lucky." Gwaine joked.

Arthur imitated his friend's silly laugh before his hit him hard on the head. "I don't see a ring on your finger, my dear friend." He hissed.

Gwaine rubbed his head. "I'm not a man for one lady, they all need me." He stood up and made a curtsey. "If you excuse me oh my mighty king of Camelot, I have duties I better not neglect." He giggled like a little girl and left the room.

Arthur was glad Gwaine was still with him. Days without Merlin were so boring. Guinevere acted out of her mind, a symptom of her pregnancy and the other knights weren't as much fun as Merlin was, except of course for Gwaine.

He went back to staring into the empty space. He hated to admit it but Gwaine was right. Something was off with Merlin, even if he didn't believe it was some secret girlfriend. But something bothered his friend for a while now and if he remembered correctly it started when they took Mordred back to Camelot.

Maybe Arthur could pass his time by investigating what went down between the two of them.

He clapped his hands. He finally found a project he could concentrate on. Besides being king of course.

* * *

Merlin and Morgana walked side by side into the woods. It was cold, but neither wind nor snow could interrupt their happiness. After all this time apart they could finally enjoy each other's presence again.

"Tell me, what is new in Camelot?" Morgana asked. She craved for some information about the outside world. Ealdor became a home for her and she loved, yet it seemed to be a different world and more than just a few miles away from Camelot.

Merlin pulled her closer. "Let's see…Sir Leon has developed a crush on Princess Elena of Gawant and thinks no one noticed, Gwaine found a grey hair on his precious head and, but it is only a small thing really, Gwen is expecting a child."

They stopped walking and Merlin grinned at Morgana.

Morgana's jaw dropped. Now that were some news. "Gwen is pregnant?" she asked in disbelief. Merlin only nodded, enjoying the obvious joy it brought to her face.

"That is wonderful! She must be so excited! And Arthur…oh I bet he is so nervous." The words came out of Morgana's mouth as if her revenge against Camelot never happened. She didn't feel like this other woman, this bitter and dark woman anymore, it felt like the darkness was fading away with each passing day. Like a disease that was somehow cured.

"He is nervous, but you know Arthur, he wouldn't say so." Merlin chuckled softly. "But Gwen, she is smiling and happy and they deserve it."

Morgana leaned against him. She was happy for Arthur and Gwen, but a part of her envied them. They were free to love each other, to start a family while she and Merlin had to hide. It was almost ironic, were Arthur and Gwen the ones who had to hide not so long ago.

Merlin softly stroked her head. "I know…I hope we will be free as well one day."

Morgana looked up to him, right into his bright blue eyes. Those magnificent, enchanting eyes she missed so much. "You didn't read my mind, right?"

He laughed and gave her a soft kiss on the lips. "No, I just feel the same."

They stared at each other for a while. Merlin wanted to tell her what he truly felt, but somehow he suddenly felt nervous. He knew he shouldn't be, that she probably already knew what he was feeling anyways, but looking at her now, at her perfect face, the raven her, the desirable lips – it was too much for him.

"Morgana, I…." he gulped. Her eyes were big, full of expectations. "I wanted to tell you –" But the words never came. Instead he was suddenly pinned down by something giant. Something _white and giant. _

He could hear Morgana laughing hysterically and when he tried to get up, he suddenly felt something cold on his cheek. A giant, wet tongue.

"Aithusa…." He managed to say. The dragon literally sat on him. "Get off of me…" he tried to push her away, but she was far too busy licking his whole face. A welcome gift Merlin could go without.

"Enough, dear." Morgana said finally after watching Merlin's agony for several minutes. Aithusa let immediately go of him and Merlin wondered who the real dragonlord was.

"Thank you…even if it took an eternity." He grumbled.

Morgana giggled and stuck her tongue out. Merlin shook his head. How could this woman be so sensual and mysterious in the one moment and sweet and childish in the next?

He got up and gently touched Aithusa's head. "I'm happy to see you, too." He said.

Aithusa made a noise that Merlin interpreted as some kind of approval to his answer. "She still doesn't speak?!" It wasn't really a question, more of a statement.

"No." Morgana said sadly. "I hoped so much she would start speaking, I tried everything, but it won't work."

Merlin's hand moved under the dragon's chin, he knew she liked being tickled there the most. "Maybe we'll find a way, together."

Morgana shot him her most brilliant smile. "Together." She repeated.

As she watched Merlin and the young dragon together, she suddenly felt at peace; with herself and with the world. Their little family was finally together again.

* * *

Mordred was practicing his skills with the sword with other young knights. It was a cold day in Camelot but he didn't mind. He enjoyed being outside and training was a good way to spent his time.

Today however, he wasn't really into it. Merlin left again and he had no idea if that was a good sign for him or not.

He needed to meet his allies and with Merlin gone no one was watching him. But Merlin himself was planning something. He hid something from Arthur and the world and Mordred was determined to find out what it was.

"Mordred!" Speaking of the devil, Arthur walked towards him, that disgusting, self-righteous grin on his face.

"Sire." Mordred faked a friendly smile. How much he hated it to pretend to be one of Arthur's loyal dogs. The blond fool didn't seem to notice, but then again, his best friend was a warlock and he never even suspected it.

"Can I borrow you for a second?" Arthur asked.

Mordred shrugged and put the sword away. He followed Arthur inside the castle, he had no idea what he wanted this time.

"Mordred, I need to speak to you, about Merlin." Arthur eyed the young man curiously. He waited to for a reaction, but Mordred just blinked at him, no readable emotions his face. So maybe Arthur was wrong after all? Maybe there was no tension at all?

"May I ask why, Sire?" It took all of Mordred's strength not to panic. Merlin hadn't sold him out, right? He wouldn't do that without risking exposure himself. He couldn't be that foolish.

"I saw you two talking the other night." Arthur crossed his arms. "It seemed well, a bit tense."

Mordred remember that night. Merlin indirectly threatened him, how could he ever forget that? It changed a lot for him. It was the first time he really feared the other man. But Arthur couldn't know that.

He laughed. "Tense? No Sire, it was quite the opposite really." He was a good liar after all. "Just a little talk between two old friends."

Arthur raised his eyebrows. There was something strange in Mordred's voice, something he didn't trust. But Merlin wasn't there so he had to take the young man's word for now. "Good. I don't want to see tension between my knights and my frie…servants." He turned around, ready to walk away.

Mordred had a sudden idea. He had to keep Arthur off his track, so maybe he could seed some doubts about Merlin. "Sire, I am however a bit worried about _our friend._"

That caught Arthur's attention. He immediately turned around. So it was not only him and Gwaine that noticed Merlin's strange behavior.

"What do you mean, Mordred?" He asked, acting like he had no clue.

Mordred wanted to roll his eyes. Both, Arthur and Merlin were so obvious and foolish when it came to each other. Those despiteful, loyal idiots would do everything for each other.

"He seems so distant lately…ever since he returned from his home village." Maybe Mordred had a chance to convince Arthur that Merlin was lying all along.

Arthur scratched his chin. He was thinking the same. "Seeing his mother probably made him a bit homesick." He didn't believe it himself, but he had the feeling sharing his worries with Mordred wasn't an option. He trusted him to a certain extent. He saved his life and did well as a knight of Camelot, but his gut told him to be careful.

Mordred smiled innocently. "I hope so, Sire. We don't want our Merlin in trouble, do we?"

Arthur shivered. Mordred spoke friendly and with concern in his voice, but there was something unsettling about it. Something cold and dangerous.

"Am I excused?" Mordred asked. He wanted to get away from Arthur as far as possible. He was sure he already planted some doubts into his head.

Arthur just nodded and stared after the boy. He couldn't shake off the feeling that something wasn't as it seemed about him. He needed to discuss his suspicions with Guinevere, if someone would understand him, it would be her.

* * *

"More soup, Gaius?" Hunith asked.

The old man shook his head and warmed his hands at the fireplace. The journey was more exhausting than he let on. "Thank you, Hunith. That was more than enough."

She smiled. "Morgana made it." She wasn't sure if Gaius would like that information, but the young woman deserved credit for the delicious meal.

"I never thought I would eat something the Lady Morgana cooked." For a brief second he was lost in his memories. Images from a time long ago, from dances and feasts, from laughter and warm eyes. He saw Morgana in front of him. The real Morgana, the sweet girl he tried so desperately to cure from her nightmares. For a moment today he thought he caught a glimpse of that lost girl, when she looked at Merlin the warmth was back and the witch was forgotten.

"I am worried, Gaius." Hunith interrupted his thoughts. Her eyes never left the door for long. She waited eagerly for Merlin and Morgana to return. She understood they needed some time alone after being separated for so long, but still she felt uneasy about it. "They shouldn't be alone for so long."

Gaius sighed. He felt the same way, but he trusted Merlin. "The boy is responsible, Hunith." He tried to assure her that Merlin wouldn't do anything stupid or bold.

"You saw them together, Gaius. That was not an innocent kiss." She thought about her short time with Balinor. It all started with stolen glances, sweet words and shy kisses, but she knew how easily it turned into so much more. Merlin and Morgana hadn't seen each other for a long time and nothing about their reunion seemed sweet or innocent. Loving her put her son in danger, being near her was bad, kissing her even worse. If the wrong person saw them, she didn't dare to think about it.

Gaius stayed quiet for a while and watched the fire. Truth to be told, he had never seen Merlin like this. The boy could be passionate about his magic, about his friendship with Arthur or his protective instinct over Gwen, but he had never seen him being passionate about a woman.

Still Gaius thought or merely hoped that their feelings wouldn't take over and what he witnessed that morning was a little slip and nothing more.

They couldn't risk anything more.

* * *

Merlin sat behind Morgana and softly pulled her dress down, exposing her shoulder. She giggled softly as he kissed her neck.

They sat in the small hut Morgana hid Aithusa in, while the dragon stayed outside and chased snowflakes. She seemed to sense that Merlin and Morgana needed some time alone.

They only had a few blankets and a fire Merlin lit, but the heat between them was more than enough to keep them warm.

"So, you told Gaius." Morgana stated as Merlin kissed down her shoulders. Each time his lips touched her bare skin she felt a sensational tingle in her stomach. "I guess he did not take it very well."

Merlin's hand went through her long hair. "He was angry and disappointed…he probably still is." He took his jacket off and threw it into a corner.

Morgana leaned back against him. He pushed her dress further down, his hands started to stroke he back. Her skin was softer than silk. Merlin still couldn't believe that this perfect woman let him touch her.

"But he wants to help me?" she asked.

She felt her dress sliding down her body even more. "He is not sure what he can do, but he wants to try…for me." He added.

Morgana sighed. She didn't expect Gaius to help her because of her. But for now she was thankful he was doing it anyways.

She turned around to face Merlin. He offered her a small smile, but his eyes were filled with deep desire.

She leaned forward and pulled him into a long kiss. "Words cannot describe how much I missed you." She whispered into his ear.

His response was bolder than she expected. He pushed her dress down, his fingers trailed softly along her bare breasts. She shivered in excitement.

He slowly pushed her on his back, his lips all over her body. She moaned when he started to kiss down to her belly while his hands went up and down her inner thighs.

Merlin was getting lost feeling her again. He wanted to kiss every inch of her perfect body, wanted to make her feel loved and wanted. She deserved the world and more.

Morgana pushed herself up, pressing her body even closer to his. When he looked up she grabbed his tunic and quickly pulled it over his head. She started to place butterfly kisses all over his chest. "Far too many clothes." She said between kisses.

He chuckled as she pulled his pants down. Their lips crashed together again. The little fire next to them started to grew immensely. They pulled away and started to laugh. "We have to keep the magic under control." Merlin said amused.

Morgana's hands wrapped around his neck. "And If I want to lose all control? Right now, with you?" She sounded like a mixture of shyness and seduction.

Her smile was daring and her eyes playful. Merlin hoped his confidence wouldn't leave him. Sure they were together before, but this time it felt entirely different again. Maybe it was because they hadn't seen each other for months and needed each other more than ever or it was because he finally was absolutely sure about his feelings for her. Whatever it was, he knew she wanted it as much as he did.

His hands trailed down her body once again. "We could blow the hut up." His voice was low and husky.

She panted. The way he touched her, made her feel wasn't normal. She thought she was going to burn out from the inside.

He sucked carefully at her neck. "It could get very…_intense._" He wasn't talking about their magic impulse control anymore, maybe he never did.

She shivered. How was it possible to need someone that much. His hands and lips were working its own magic on her body. She couldn't take it anymore.

She kissed him desperately and pulled him roughly on the top of her. She wanted to get lost in this moment.

They softly moaned each other's names as they became one again, filling the air with passion and uncontrollable bursts of magic.

* * *

It was already getting dark when Merlin and Morgana returned home. They walked hand in hand, their hair was messy and the clothes looked like they weren't properly put on.

Hunith eyed them suspiciously when they walked inside their little house, but said nothing. Gaius almost spilled his drink out looking at them. A few hours ago he said Merlin was responsible and wouldn't do anything stupid and now even the dumbest person in the world could probably tell what they were doing all day.

Gaius looked away, hoping he wouldn't blush.

Sure, both of them were grown ups, but there were things in this world the old physician didn't want to think about.

Merlin and Morgana on the other couldn't care less. They were giggling and whispering like two people who just discovered what love really means.

Merlin sat down on a chair next to Gaius, looking more relaxed than Gaius had ever seen him and Morgana sat down on his lap, kissing his cheek.

When Hunith asked if they wanted food, they declined before focusing on each other once again.

Merlin played with her hair as she leaned against him.

They were so comfortable and intimate with each other, if someone had told him, Gaius wouldn't believe it.

That image in front of him was against everything he believed in. Against every prophecy or augury.

Yet, a part of him was astonished. Was it really possible to challenge destiny in a way they did? Could this love against all odds change what was foretold thousands of years ago?

He couldn't imagine it. When they left for Ealdor he didn't want to imagine it. But now seeing them together, seeing his boy happier than ever before made him doubt everything.

But he had to focus, they were there for a purpose.

"I want to tell you a tale…" He started getting their full attention. "The real story about the dark tower."

Hunith sat down next to the fire. Morgana's face went pale. Merlin softly stroke her cheek. "It will be alright." He whispered softly, kissing her earlobe.

She nodded and tried to calm her breath. She needed the truth or it would destroy her.

When all eyes were on him, Gaius started his dark tale.

"There was a tower, built by the high priests of the Old Religion. No one could find it unless you knew where to look. It was built to fight enemies of the Old Religion. The priests kept their prisoners there, to torture them." His eyes fell on Morgana, she shivered in Merlin's arms. Again Gaius saw the fragile girl with the horrible nightmares. "They imprisoned their enemies there for days, week, sometimes even months." He continued his tale. The legend says, that they used the oldest and darkest magic on them. They messed with their heads and turned them around."

"Turned them around?" Merlin asked. "As in brainwashed them?" He suspected something like that, it would explain Morgana's sudden change and her blind loyalty to Morgause.

Morgana didn't know what to think anymore. The pictures in her mind became clearer, the lost memories of her first time away from Camelot came back to her day by day and still she didn't want to believe the sister she loved so deeply could do something like that to her. "Continue, please." She told Gaius.

"The prisoners were held in a cell on the top of the tower, all alone with no light, no sound. Just pure darkness." He shivered even telling the story. "It was a slow process. First they were left alone in absolute darkness until it consumed them, then there was a black substance that went into their bodies."

Morgana leaned even closer against Merlin. He wrapped protective his arms around her. "The black goo…" she said frantically, her voice shrill. "The black goo I feel in my dreams…"

Gaius nodded, feeling only sorry for her. "It is the purest, most manifest form of dark magic, it fastens the manipulative process. Then there are the voices."

Morgana's nails bored into Merlin's arm. "In my dreams I hear voice, see faces. People I love and care about they tell me I don't matter, that they hate me and don't want me." Tears were falling down her cheeks.

Hunith put her hand to her mouth and gasped. She couldn't imagine what the poor girl had been through.

The more he heard the more Gaius understood what happened to the Morgana they all knew and loved. "It is like you said, Morgana. They show you faces of people you love and make you believe that they don't want you, they make you feel all alone in the world. Vulnerable and lost." He looked over to Merlin who seemed lost in thoughts.

"And then one of them appears as your saving grace." Merlin said. "In your case, Morgause." He softly kissed Morgana's head. "She let you see the light again, she appeared as your only friend and family, made you feel loved." He couldn't believe someone could be that cruel, especially to your own flesh and blood.

"And with the dark magic inside you, you slowly turn insane." Gaius finished the story. "Friends become the enemies and the enemies become the friends."

Merlin clenched his free fist. "Morgana was already vulnerable. Morgause tricked me into poisoning her, she knew that was going to happen." He felt so stupid, why didn't he put this puzzle together earlier? Why did he blindly believe she would betray them like that? _Because it was easier this way, _his inner voice said.

Hunith stared at her son. He poisoned her? Merlin, the most honest and good hearted boy in the whole wide world could something like that? She couldn't believe it.

Morgana sobbed quietly. "I cannot believe she did this to me…"

Gaius studied her face. "What I don't understand is, why now? Why do you start remembering now?"

"The dragon's breath." Merlin said quickly. "When Aithusa saved her life, it must have triggered something inside her."

Morgana looked up and wiped the tears away. "That is true and after I met Merlin again….things started to get more intense."

Gaius blinked surprised. The dragon's breath made perfectly sense, but the thing about Merlin… _Could it be? _

"I need to ask you something very intimate, Morgana." Gaius said, feeling as uncomfortable as one can be. But he was a physician and he had to treat her like any other patients.

Morgana gulped and nodded slowly.

"Your feelings for Merlin…where they present before Morgause got to you?"

Hunith looked up, that was something she wanted to know as well. She briefly looked at her son who seemed calm about the whole situation.

"Yes." Morgana answered sincere. Merlin already knew the answer, so it wasn't that embarrassing.

Gaius leaned back into his chair. He expected that answer. He just wasn't so sure if he liked it. If his theory was true, things between them were even more serious than he expected.

"What does that mean, Gaius?" Merlin asked, afraid he made her more miserable.

"Love is the strongest magic of them all." He said and for a moment the wisdom in his voice reminded Merlin of Kilgharrah. "Reconnecting again must have reminded her of the deep feelings she once had for you, that in combination with the dragon's breath…I never heard of anything like that before but it could –"

"It could have broken the spell." Hunith finished Gaius's sentence.

Morgana and Merlin looked at each other. So it was kind of true when people said love would conquer all.

"The spell maybe broken, but the nightmares are still there." Merlin said.

"Morgause messed with Morgana's mind and heart, even if the magic is out of her body, the memories are still there." Gaius explained. He had never dealt with an enchantment that strong, if he was honest it was far beyond his knowledge to deal with it, but he promised himself he would try.

"Can we make it stop?" Morgana asked feebly.

Gaius locked eyes with Merlin, who knew that look all too well. The answer was yes, but they wouldn't like it.

"There is one way…" Gaius started and Morgana's eyes showed the first sign of hope since he started the gruesome tale. "Another powerful source of magic has to counter what Morgause did."

"What does that mean?" Hunith asked concerned. She knew magic wasn't evil and that her son did more good with it than most people could do in a lifetime, but still it scared her.

Gaius took a deep breath, Merlin's eyes already darkened. He didn't like the direction they were heading to.

"Someone powerful enough has to get inside your nightmares and wake you up on the inside." He said quickly.

Merlin shook his head. "Absolutely not." He said. Morgana stayed silent. She understood what it meant.

Hunith was confused. All she understood was that Morgana could be helped if someone took care of the nightmares why she was asleep. That didn't sound so bad to her. "What is it, Merlin?"

Morgana stood up, she felt that Merlin needed his space. He walked up and down, glancing at Gaius now and then. "You want me to get inside of her mind?" He almost shouted in disbelief. "Have you any idea how dangerous that could be?" Of course Gaius knew, Morgana did as well. "I could damage her even more. Maybe she won't wake up again, maybe I would trap us both. How can you even consider that?"

Gaius didn't dare to meet his eyes. That reaction was the exact reason why he didn't tell Merlin his plan before. "It is our only option."

Merlin shook his head. "There has to be another. You cannot ask me to mess with her mind."

"What if I ask you?" Morgana said suddenly.

Merlin laughed. "You cannot be serious. After everything that Morgause did, you want me make it even worse?"

Hunith sensed her son's desperation, she walked towards him, wanted to calm him down, but Morgana did it first.

She gently touched his cheek, forcing him to look at her. "Listen to me, I am already damaged. Nothing you can do would make it worse. I know you are scared…"

He closed his eyes for a moment and gave into her touch. "I am scared, too. But I believe in you, if someone can do that it's you."

"Morgana –" Merlin started.

"And if it doesn't work, then it is not your fault. I cannot bear those dreams anymore, they break me down on the inside and if we have a chance to stop it, I'm willing to do whatever it takes." Her voice was strong and determined.

Merlin grabbed her other hand and pulled it to his chest. "I don't want to lose you, not again." He didn't care who was listening.

She smiled softly. "You won't." She leaned closer to him. "One night, months ago we decided to fight for our own destiny and this is a part of it. We can do this. Trust me on this."

His response was a sweet kiss on the lips. "Always." He whispered against her lips.

Gaius and Hunith didn't know where to look anymore, they felt like strangers watching a scene they had no part in.

Merlin and Morgana were caught in their own little world again. For the first time ever, Hunith didn't see her magical little boy, but the man he had become. A man who would do anything to protect the woman he loved. He reminded her so much of Balinor.

Gaius coughed. He felt bad interrupting them. He still needed his time to accept Morgana, but with everything he learned today, they both maybe had a chance of happiness.

"Will you do it?" Gaius asked.

Merlin looked at Morgana one more time and nodded. "Yes."

* * *

Mordred sneaked out of the castle. Apart from a few guards everyone was asleep and with Merlin gone he could finally work on his plan again.

Alvarr was already waiting for him. "Mordred, what happened?"

"Emrys." He hissed between his teeth and Alvarr understood.

"Tell me, are we ready?" He asked.

Alvarr smiled. "Yes, we are only waiting for your command."

Mordred looked back at Camelot. "You won't have to wait long, everything is going according to my plan." That was not exactly the truth. Merlin was doing something somewhere in the big wide world and he had no idea what it was, but he couldn't tell Alvarr he had doubts. Not now, not ever.

"I want to meet her." Mordred said.

Alvarr nodded. "Follow me, she is expecting you."

* * *

Arthur walked outside his chambers, silently closing the doors. Gwen was soundlessly asleep and he didn't want to wake her.

He walked along the corridor where he was already awaited.

"Arthur." Percival appeared in the shadows. "I did as you asked and you were right, the boy left his chambers."

Arthur nodded. So his gut feeling was right. "I knew there was something about him."

"Merlin knew, too." Percival said.

Arthur looked up, obviously surprised. "He did?" Maybe that was the reason he felt a certain tension between Merlin and Mordred.

"He was watching him, all the time. He did not trust him." Percival explained.

Arthur looked outside the window into the deep night, He wished Merlin was home, he needed to talk to him about Mordred. "I want you to watch him. But don't tell anyone else. We don't need rumors in Camelot, that you cannot trust our knights."

Percival quickly bowed his head. "As you wish."

There was something going on in his kingdom. Mordred, Morgana's sudden disappearance and Merlin's strange behavior; it was all somehow connected and Arthur wanted to find out why.

Camelot was his kingdom and if someone tried to mess with it, they had to go through him first.


End file.
